Friday, August 20, 2010

Change...

When I first moved to Colorado 5 years ago, I never thought I would be ready to leave. And I guess part of me isn't. I really do love it here. I love looking at the mountains, and I love it even more when we get the chance to go hiking in them. I could go on for hours about all the things I love about Colorado... However, I am ready for change. Maybe it's not so much that I am ready for a change, but I am sensing that God is planning a change for our family, and He has been gradually preparing my heart for it.

God has been changing small things in our family over the past year, and I'm now wondering if they were changes for the better, or just changes so that we were out of our comfort zone and more willing to make a bigger change. First He put it on my heart that we should change churches. Which was a big deal for us because we absolutely loved our church! There were little reasons that led me to believe a different church would be better for us, and then my husband said something along the same lines without me saying anything. So I knew it was from God. He led us to a new church that we love. My husband isn't attached to it, but I love it there. I have a wonderful ladies Bible study, homeschool support group, and many wonderful friends. However, I would be willing to leave to find one where my husband was willing to get more involved.

Other changes that have happened over the last year is that I have became a full time stay at home mom. I was working extremely part time (2 nights a week) for Pizza Hut, but when my boss retired I just couldn't work under the new conditions. They were promoting ungodly attitudes and feelings in me and while I tried to work through them it was just too much. It became a place of gossip, malice, judgment, and hatred. Even as I write this post almost a year later those feelings are fresh in my mind. I thank God for granting me the ability to remove myself from the situation. With this change we lost a small amount of income, but it was income we relied on. This was made up less than 3 months later when my husband got a wonderful job offer for a new company. We prayed about it a great deal and while he turned down the original job offer, they offered him an even better one that he did accept. This new job has not been a walk in the park, but it was a change and I believe it is most certainly what God wanted for our family.

Another change is that we are homeschooling this year. Last year at this time of year had you asked me about homeschooling my children I probably would have laughed at you and thought you were absurd. But God changed my heart about homeschooling over the past year and we are less than a week away from our first day.

All of these work together to lead me to believe that God has a bigger plan for us than where we are right now. I think that He was trying to get us out of our comfort zone, which I truly believe that we needed. So here we are, farther out of our comfort zone than I ever believed possible, and now I want to go further. I want to move to another state. Something inside of me screams Texas, but I don't know if that is my flesh because Paul's parents are there and I know they have simple homeschooling laws, or if that is God prompting me in which way to go. I will wait on Him for His guidance. He has never let me down before, and I'm sure that He won't start now...

I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope. -- Psalm 130:5

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