In Today’s society Christian women are not exempt of dealing with the ugly monster of infidelity. Unfortunately in many Christian homes women have had to deal with the fact that their husbands have shared intimacy with someone else.
Adultery breaks the heart of a woman, especially the one that believes that is living with a man after God’s heart. The first question on a woman’s mind is what did I do wrong? I came to bring you the answer. You did nothing wrong.
Although it is true that in a troubled relationship there are two sides of a story and that both parties shared the responsibility, the final choice to act belongs to the individual. You did not make your spouse cheat, he chose to do that.
I think that’s a liberating thought, as many women blame themselves for the actions of their husbands in this particular. There’s no amount of conversation, intimacy or pleasing that would have made him make a different choice. Yes, those things may have influence his decision, but it was ultimately his decision to act on it. Adultery is not the actual problem; it’s just the symptom to major issues in the relationship that were not addressed on time.
Can a marriage be saved after one commits adultery? Yes, but it takes many of things and both parties need to be willing to work together to achieve it.
- The husband needs to repent for his actions; to God first and to his wife.
- The husband needs to end the adulterous relationship Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
- The wife needs to forgive her husband. This is very important. If for the rest of your life you will be bringing the issue up is not going to make the healing process any easier. Yes, it’s not going to be easy and that’s where prayer and counseling will have to help. Remember the word on Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
- The husband needs to make amends to his wife. Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift”
- The wife needs to find her identity in Christ and her security in him and not her husband. When a woman finds out that her husband has cheated on her; many insecurities arise. Am I attractive enough? Was I intimate enough with him? Am I good enough? It takes a toll on her self-esteem. This is when she needs to remember that she’s not who she thinks she is or who her husband says she is. She is who God says she is.
- They should seek counseling to mend the relationship and deal with the issues that triggered the situation.
About Naty Matos:
Naty Matos was born in the city of New York. She grew up in the beautiful Island of Puerto Rico and now lives in the city of Atlanta.
She holds a Bachelor's Degree in Clinical Psychology with a Minor in Mass Media Communications and a Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling.
Naty writes Christian fiction and non-fiction. She maintains a blog on Christian Living Topics at www.therisingmuse.com
Copyright © The Rising Muse 2012
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