Self Love

"Greater love has no man then this, that he lay down his life for his friends." 

~ John 15:13

I've been reading through "A Gospel Primer" by Milton Vincent, and I came across the following quote about the above verse that I just loved:

"...the deeper I go into the gospel, the more I experience the truth of His claim and thereby know how far His love for me surpasses even my own."

But Mr. Vincent didn't stop there. He went on to say:

"His astonishing love for me renders self-absorption moot and frees me up to move on to causes and interests far greater than myself."

Have you ever thought about it that way before. This has by far been one of the most impactful segments of the book for me. We live in a world that tells us that before we can love others, we have to learn to love ourselves. But that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says that if we want to truly love (ourselves or others) that we must first love Him. When we truly love God with all of our hearts, that the love that He has for us (and others) will trickle down to us, and will be expressed through us.

Mr. Monday: Remember When...

I honestly believe that one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to remember. Not the bad things that have happened, but what it was like when you were first dating. Do you remember back when you longed to be the one in his arms? When you would drop everything just to answer the phone when he called. Back when he had your undivided attention, even when he wasn't around?

After being married for 5 years, life happens, and our attention is stretched to it's limits. It seems like somewhere along the way the infatuation fades, and we become more self centered. Instead of feeling blissful every time our Mr.'s look our way, we get irritated when we have to abandon the project we are working on to go and do something for us. Why is that?

I love looking back to the way it use to be, not because it's not that way anymore, but because it helps me to be that way again. When I remember that having my husband is not a right that I have, but a privilege, it puts things in a different perspective. It helps me to remember that I still want to be the one in his arms. I still want to be the one that he calls everyday, the one that he smiles at and thinks of on and off throughout the day. And I still want him to be the same for me. Why? Because I still love him. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, and I don't even want to try. Mr. Amazing still amazes me each and every day.

Listen! My lover! 

   Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains,    bounding over the hills. 
   Look! There he stands behind our wall, 
gazing through the windows, 
   peering through the lattice. 
 My lover spoke and said to me, 
   “Arise, my darling, 
   my beautiful one, and come with me. 
 See! The winter is past; 
   the rains are over and gone. 
 Flowers appear on the earth; 
   the season of singing has come, 
the cooing of doves 
   is heard in our land. 
 The fig tree forms its early fruit; 
   the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. 
Arise, come, my darling; 
   my beautiful one, come with me.”

 My lover is like a gazelle or a young stag. 

~ Song of Songs  2:8-13

Tangible Faith

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints— 

Colossians 1:3-4

God has been teaching me a lot lately about tangible faith. Faith that you can see. Faith that reaches out and touches those around you. I'm not talking about whitewashed pharisee faith, I'm talking about New Testament faith. What's the difference? One is self centered, showing others how good you are, the other is Christ centered and focused on showing His love to everyone you come in contact with. One is based on glorifying yourself, the other is based on glorifying God. 

There are several mentions of this New Testament faith in the Bible. Those Scriptures have been helping me to get a better picture of what kind of faith God wants us to have - faith that He considers pure (James 1:27). One such example is in Acts: 

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. 

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet.

Now that is visible, tangible faith! But this wasn't the only New Testament church that lived like this. They were everywhere. In the letter Paul wrote to the Colossians, he told them that he had HEARD of their faith and love for ALL the saints. I can't imagine that he means anything other then what was spoken of in Acts. But do you know of any churches that have faith and love like that today?

I don't.

I know a lot of churches where people are very friendly on Sunday morning, and even during weekly planned activities, but none where they extend that same friendliness during the week with random acts of kindness. Very few people call just to see how their church family is doing, and even fewer call more then their selected social group.

So if someone reported on you or your churches faith and love, what would they say? Would they speak of your love for ALL the saints, or would they say that you had an awesome worship service and gave lots of money to missionaries? Which would you rather that they said? Do you have work to do? I sure do.

Contentment

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:12

This Scripture has been on my heart for several days now. What stands out to me the most is that Paul didn't just instantly become content, he had to learn to be content. I think that God is teaching me this, and I must admit that it's not an easy lesson. While I do know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty, and I even know the secret of being content. The secret is thankfulness. The secret is choosing to be content, even if situations aren't ideal. It's choosing to be thankful for what you have, instead of wishing things were different.

What does that look like to me? It means:
...being thankful for our pets, even though I don't like caring for them. It's choosing to be thankful for my husband who loves animals, instead of upset about the hair on the rug, the poop in the litter box and the algae in the fish tank.
...being thankful that my children are creative when they make a big mess, instead of feeling putout by it.
...being thankful God made the seasons, even when I have to go out early in the morning and shovel the sidewalk and clean off the car.
...being thankful for my family when I have to clean up the living room, again. It means choosing to be thankful for hungry people when I have to cook dinner, wash the dishes, and go grocery shopping (my least favorite thing to do).
...being thankful for little legs that run and play when I have to mend another pair of pants with holes in the knees.
...being thankful for food to eat, instead of grumbling about the mess in the kitchen, or spilled milk on the floor.
...being thankful for the time with my children when homeschooling them, instead of upset with their poor attitudes about learning.
...being thankful for a house full of love, even when I can't remember the last time I had a full nights sleep, a moment to myself, or a shower without someone banging on the door.

This list could go on and on, but I think you get the point. What does learning to be content look like in your life?

9 years ago...

August is our busy birthday month. Mr. Amazing's birthday is on the 19th, followed by my mom's on August 22nd, and ending with my first born's birthday on the 23rd. I still remember that first night. At 3 am on Sunday, August 22nd, 2002 I went into labor. We were living the two story house where I grew up. My mom had rented the main level for years, when my husband and I moved back to town we had rented the top level. I loved being so close to my mom. So when the labor started, we went downstairs and woke her up. I couldn't imagine doing this without her. There was a couple hours of timing contractions, then we were off to the hospital.

At 8am my doctor came in to check my progress. I was at a 3 and still having contractions every other minute. She decided to go ahead and break my water to get things moving along. I did a lot of walking up and down the hall. My mom was right there with me every step of the way. While my husband was in the lobby watching baseball with his family, my mom was there. I don't even remember her leaving to get something to eat or drink. Not once. She was always there. Even my mother-in-law was there almost constantly.

They finally decided to give me some kind of medicine to increase the contractions. That's when it all went bad. I started un-dilating. But the medicine had worked. I now knew what it felt like to need to push. I couldn't stop myself. Everyone in the room was screaming at me not to push because it might hurt my precious baby. My mom was asking for something to undo what the last medicine did, but they were telling her there was nothing. My mother-in-law, the nurse, told them there most certainly was (she might have even told them what, but I don't remember). They finally got me something that stopped the need to push.

It was early in the morning now on the 23rd. The on-call doctor was explaining the C-section procedure to me. He was letting me know that everyone had to live within 20 minutes of the hospital so we should be getting started within the hour. All I needed to do was stay calm and hold on.

Over an hour and a half later they finally came and got me to take me back to the operation room. I remember my husband was back and my mom was gone. She had spent her entire birthday by my side, but it was over now. Now I was numb from the middle of my back down. I felt little movements in my tummy, but not enough to know what was going on. I wanted to know if I was having a little boy or a girl, they told me to be patient, that they would let me know when they got that far. It seemed to take forever. I was finally told that I had a little boy. My husband got to hold him before they took him away. I had to stay to get sewn up, and I wasn't allowed to hold him on the table.

Next was recovery. I was in there for quite some time. Finally, I was allowed to go back to my room and see my baby. I was able to hold him and kiss him. The nurses told me that he shouldn't stay in the room with me, and took him to the nursery so I could rest. I wasn't happy about this at all. They also started giving him bottles of water, and gave him a pacifier, all things that I was against, but no one checked with me. I remember the nurses coming into push on my belly to help it heal. I don't recall it doing anything but being agonizingly painful.

I'm so thankful that I no longer have to rely on the nursing staff. My boy turned 9 today, and I can hold him, and kiss him, and cuddle him whenever I want to (provided that I'm faster than he is or he is willing). I now have total control over what he eats and when he eats. He want's Pizza for his birthday. It's amazing the changes that have happened in the past 9 years. If I hadn't been along for the ride, I would doubt that it was even possible for him to be the 7 lb baby that came from that terrible time. The one thing that hasn't changed though, is my love for him.

Mr. Monday: Remember when...

I love my Mr.!! I know you love yours too. :) But I always enjoy Monday mornings (or Sunday nights) when I get to tell the world (or the handful of people who actually read my blog) how wonderful he is!

This past week I have been thinking back, back before he was my Mr. Back to the time where we weren't dating yet, but just hanging out together. Back to the time when we were falling in love. Do you remember those days with your Mr.? Well, here's a look back at ours:

We both worked at Pizza Hut, just different stores. One of the girls I worked with told me that this guy was coming to get some product that their store was out of and that I would most certainly drool over him, because he was like the best thing since sliced bread (or something like that). I therefore blew him off, and only half way nodded when my boss introduced me to him, and continued on working. However, even with my outward effort to blow him off, I couldn't help but notice his smile and other good looks. Of course, I would never let this girl think she was right, so I didn't let it show. Thus, he still doesn't believe me.

Less than a month later, my college roommate/best friends got transferred to his store. He ws the general manager and she didn't have a car, so I was her transportation. I would call him to tell him that she was going to be late for work because I got off work late, or something less responsible. He was always okay with it.

We went bowling as a group and I drove the group of us girls and he would meet us there when he got off work. On the way home he would drive behind us and gently nudge my car at the stop lights, then fly past me when we reached our turn off.

We would go workout as a group. I would pretend to ignore him while I was totally embarrassed by the other two girls oogling over his good looks. Then when we left the gym he would head home claiming to need to get sleep before work in the morning while the rest of us went out to eat, then he would spend the next hour texting me while we were at the Village Inn.

The first time that he hugged me I dropped my phone down the stairs going up to his third floor apartment... I still get butterflies when thinking about that night! LOL!

What about you, do you remember when...?

God is amazing!

On this wonderful, amazing, perfect thankful Thursday, I am so happy that I will probably cry. I found out yesterday that a little boy I use to babysit was moving back to town, and today his dad is here staying with us while he looks for a place to live and a job.

To understand where my heart is, you have to understand the situation. You see, many years ago (okay, 3 years ago) my husband had an employee who was from Florida that was in a custody battle for his son. When he was granted custody, his son moved from Florida, up here to Colorado to live with him. I thought the Christian thing to do was to offer to babysit his child (whom I had never met) for free. As a single dad with no family in the area, he didn't really have any other options. I should tell you that 3 years ago, I wasn't the worlds best Christian (obviously, I'm still not, but I have came along way in the past few years). While I was trying to do the right thing, I saw this extra child as baggage who got in the way and always foiled our plans. I almost insisted that he find a new sitter, but God was working in me. I started to grow in the Lord, and see many things differently. I asked many people to pray for me, and for this little boy. I knew that I wasn't loving him the way that God wanted me to.

Long story short, my prayers were answered. God really laid it on my heart that I was the only type of mother this little boy had. He was with us 5-6 days a week for most of the day sometimes. I started to love him as my own. But, he wasn't my own. Less than a month after I had developed this deep love for him, something came up and his father and him moved back to Florida to live with his dad's mom. I was heart broken. I cried and prayed, and prayed and cried. I wanted the best for this little boy and did my best to entrust him into God's care, but I have missed him so very, very much.

When I saw his father's facebook status that said he was coming back to Colorado, I had to contain myself not to instantly ask about his precious boy. I had to restrain myself not to cry tears of joy before I knew for sure. I had to attempt not to get my hopes up, as I really had no clue what was going on. I didn't dance. I didn't cry. I just waited and prayed.

Well, today his daddy showed up on my doorstep and filled us in. He is back, looking for a place to live, and a job. Once he finds those he will go and get his son (who is still at his grandma's house) and bring him back into my life. He wanted to store some stuff at our house while he went to get a room at the motel. By God's sovereign provision I had spent the last 2 days cleaning the basement (you can read that post here), so we had room to keep it. It turned out that the motel was full, so he ended up crashing here tonight (again, by God's grace we have a clean space for him to sleep!).

I'm just so thankful for the way this seems to be happening. I'm thankful that this precious little boy will be coming back into my life. I'm thankful that we are able to provide hospitality to his father, and hopefully share the love of Jesus with them. God is soo good!!

I LOVE THIS BOY!!!

Mr. Monday: Love does...

It's Mr. Monday!

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

Protection.
Trust.
Hopefulness.
Perseverance.

Those four words are everything I want out of someone who loves me. Did you ever think about it that way? God created us with the desire to be loved, not a physical love, but an emotional love. He created us to be loved the way He loves us.

When I think of Mr. Amazing, I know that he will protect me at all costs. He is my strong defender here on earth. He protects me from all kinds of things. From people talking bad about me in his presence, our children driving me bonkers, and from anything that might potentially harm me physically or emotionally. Mr. Amazing also trusts me. He trusts me to care for our children and for him. He hopes that I am happy, and that his trust isn't misplaced. He hopes to be with me forever, that our love will persevere. He stays with me through thick and thin. When I screw up, or times are hard, he doesn't jump ship, but we persevere together. He loves me. With a real love, not a superficial love. (and of course I love him too!)

This is also a picture of Christ's love for us. He won't abandon us, but His love will persevere for all of eternity, no matter how much we fail, screw up, or come up short. He trusts that we will do our best, and knows that we can't do it without Him. He hopes that we will do better and put our trust in Him. We can count on Christ to protect us (even if His idea of protection seems different than ours), and we know that His love is eternal. That it will endure forever and ever.

If we look at it on the flip side, we can see what love doesn't do. Love isn't something that doesn't care if others are hurt. It doesn't lie or assume the worst. It always hopes for the best, and does all that it can. Love doesn't give up on you, it doesn't trade you for a new passing fancy, and it doesn't cause you pain for selfish reasons. I'm so thankful that Christ loves me with a love that perseveres, trusts, hopes, and protects. I'm thankful that Mr. Amazing does too.

Verse 6 - Take 2

I know I already covered verse 6. But this is just so important! I imagine that this says pretty much the same thing, just worded different, but I couldn't help but feel that I didn't do it justice earlier. So take it or leave it, but here it is:

1 Corinthians 13:6- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Love does not delight in evil. I can’t help but think of my 8 year old son who is sitting next to me. He and his 6 year old little brother, go through stages where they love tattling on one another. They are currently in this stage, and they tell me every little thing that the other one does wrong. I am trying to teach them that love does not delight in evil, but that’s kind of hard for them to understand. They know it’s wrong, and they think I should know… Oh the joys of parenthood.

But it’s not just kids that struggle with this concept. How many times do we tell others what so and so did? How often do we watch the news just to see all the bad things that happened in a day? This part of the verse makes me think about gossip. Proverbs 26:20 tells us that “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” How true is that?! When we focus on sharing evil or bad things that happen, all it does is stir up strife. Last night I was the perfect example of this. I had talked with someone on the phone earlier in the day, and they had told me something shockingly horrible that they had done. This person is not a Christian, and didn’t understand how wrong it was to do what they did. They kind of felt like they took it too far, but they didn’t grasp the consequences it had on those around them. Anyway, I was telling my husband all about it (because I try to tell him everything), when it hit me that I was, in a way, rejoicing in evil. I was pained for the person that was effected by this, and for the lack of salvation in the person I spoke to, but there was still part of me that enjoyed telling this horrific story. I was delighting in evil. (On a side note: how is news different then gossip? I have been wondering about this a lot lately… Any thoughts?)

On the other end of this verse, we are told that love rejoices in truth. I love being truthful with my husband, but I don’t think that’s the kind of truth this is talking about. Telling my husband everything is a good thing, but delighting in truth is deeper than that. What about when someone sins against us, but they tell us afterwards and their sin hurts us? Can we rejoice in knowing the truth when it hurts? Can we rejoice in the truth when it is not what we wanted? Let’s say that the truth is that our boss has decided that we aren’t holding up to our end of the deal and we are being fired? The truth is that we weren’t performing well, can we rejoice in him telling us the truth and grow from that experience? Can we rejoice in the truth when the truth is something that we enjoy doing is a sin?

Can we rejoice in the truth that God has rebuked us for something that He doesn’t like, or do we delight in our evil too much and start an argument with God (or other Christians) to defend our sin?

Evil vs Truth

1 Corinthians 13:6 ~ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Have you ever delighted in evil? Maybe you don't think so, but delighting in evil can be as simple as spreading gossip. You hear something bad about someone, and you just can't wait to tell someone else... that's delighting in evil. It is delighting in evil when we choose to be happy when someone else is in trouble. It's delighting in evil when we attempt to gain happiness through sinful behavior.

On the flip side, most of us would say that we rejoice in the truth. What about if that truth is that our husband is leaving us for another woman, or that our precious baby has cancer? Would we still be able to rejoice in the truth? We could chose to, but it wouldn't be our natural fleshly response. It would only be a response, chosen by someone who loved God, and trusted Him with everything. In every situation, we can choose to rejoice in the truth. We can choose to focus on the good instead of the bad. That's how God loves us. He sees the good in us, and sent Jesus to cover the bad.

There are those times when the two seem to be one in the same. When a co-worker that you can't seem to get along with gets caught steeling from the company and is fired. We shouldn't rejoice that they lost their job, that would be delighting in evil, but we should be happy for the company that the culprit was apprehended. There is a fine line there, and the most important thing is our motives. We can usually weigh our own motives, and know when we need to check our behavior, the trick is to actually do so. Weighing our motives can be hard. We have to open ourselves up to the possibility that we not only aren't perfect, but that we are possibly sinning in something that makes us happy. It means we have to humble ourselves.

Love is humble. Not self-seeking, not delighting in evil, but rejoicing in truth, even if that truth is that we are in the wrong...

Forgiveness, or lack thereof

Forgiveness is a huge part of love. I have learned a lot about forgiveness in my life. I talked about it on Monday, when I posted about the end of 1 Corinthians 13:5, I wrote about it back in November when I faced an unexpected surprise, and it's on my heart again today.

Yes, I have forgiven a lot during my life, my guess is, that you have too. We can all think of some of the big things that we have forgiven, but there are countless small things that we forgive without even a second glance. Well, last night God showed me a big thing that I haven't forgiven yet. Most of you who have been reading my blog for sometime now, know that I am divorced. My first husband left me for another woman. While he caused me tons of heartache and made my life miserable for several years while I tried to save our fallen marriage, I have completely and totally forgiven him for that. In fact, I would say that I don't even hold a grudge. That pain is in the past, and if he hadn't put me through all of that, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am practically thankful that it all happened. So where is my un-forgiveness?

My un-forgiveness showed up yesterday, when I was talking to my sweet little 6 year old son. You see, when I was pregnant with this little treasure, my ex-husband (his father), didn't want me to be. I got pregnant after he had told me that he had broke it off with this other girl and wanted to repair our marriage. Then, when I told him I was pregnant, instead of rejoicing, he asked me what his girlfriend was going to say. He had been lying to me, and now we were bringing a second child into the world where mommy and daddy weren't happily married. I was crushed. However, it didn't end there. While that was the last time that I trusted him, he called me almost daily to see if I had had a miscarriage yet. 2 weeks before I was scheduled to deliver I finally lost it and let him know that if I had a miscarriage at that point that it would be the last thing that he would want to ask me about. He had the nerve to show up at the hospital for our sons birth, and of course, my mom stepped aside and let him go to delivery with me. That was the only time he has ever shown any love for our child. After that, he just kind of faded into the background. In the past 3 years, the only time he has seen him was when the boys were visiting their grandparents (his parents) and he has happened to show up. They visit his parents once a year, so in the last half of my little boys life, he has seen his 'father' no more than 3 times.

I have forgiven my ex-husband for all the pain that he caused me. However, I have NOT forgiven him for what he has done to his child. I do not believe that he deserves to be loved by such a special little boy, that he didn't want me to have in the first place.

I'm so thankful that God doesn't only love those that deserve His love. God loves like my little 6 year old boy. Unconditionally. His love forgives, even when we don't deserve it. We have all treated God, just as my ex-husband treated my son. We have wished He wasn't there. We have tried to ignore His existence. We have hated Him. But He loves us anyway. I'm so thankful that He can forgive us for being so selfish, and I pray that He can help me love more like my 6 year old son.

To love like Christ

What does it really mean to love like Christ?

God's love for us doesn't waver when we sin. Can we love others the same even when they sin against us? Can we love them no matter what, and not hold the past against them? God's love for us is never changing. Nothing we can do can make that love stronger, or let it fade away. Can we love others that way? Can we love everyone in our lives the same whether they are mean to us, hurt us or treat us like queens? If we love like Christ we could. Sometimes this is easier than others. If they do little things, of course it is easy to overlook them. But what about the big things that really hurt us, can we love them the same as before after something major? God loves us the same, even when we make major mistakes. And you know what, He loves them the same as He loves us. He knows more about them than we will ever know, and He loves them just the same. When they sin against us, they sin against Him too, but He loves them anyway, it doesn't change His love in the slightest, He chooses to love them through their sins, just as He loves us. Can we do that? Can we love others no matter what they do to us, no matter how much it hurts us?

Christ loves us with Agape love. Love that is a wide open, unconditional, consuming love. It is a love that is hopeful, truthful, selfless, gentle, trusting, patient, kind, enduring, and everlasting. As my dear friend Robin once said, it is a love that is only possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Agape love is the reason that God sent His only begotten son to die on a cross for our sins. Agape love is the reason that Jesus shed His blood for us, and the reason that He sent the Holy Spirit to live in us, to help us love others. Agape love is 1 Corinthians 13 love. Can we love others like that? I believe we can.

Are you keeping score?

1 Corinthians 13:5b ~ "it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

How do you react when someone sins against you? Do you react in anger, or love? Is your first response resentment or forgiveness? Do you keep score so to say, do you remember all the times that they have messed up, or do you forgive and let it go?

There are so many ways we could look at this section of the verse, but when I was faced with an unexpected surprise several months ago, I remembered this verse. I could have reacted in anger, and said things to only make the person asking for my forgiveness feel that much worse, but that wouldn't have been very loving. I could also choose to hold this against them and bring up a ton of other things that really aren't related, but could be if I thought this sin went further than they were admitting. But that wouldn't have been very loving either, and to be quite frank, it wouldn't have been trusting either.

Tons of verses swam through my head that morning and these words from 1 Corinthians 13 were among them. Love is so important. Love helps us to forgive. Without love, there is no forgiveness. Without forgiveness we keep records of wrongs, and we react in anger instead of with mercy. Could mercy be considered an opposite of anger? Forgiveness shows mercy and compassion, instead of anger and hate. Love is being willing to forgive, even when it hurts more than words could say.

If we look at this from a different point of view, I sure am thankful that God isn't keeping record of my mistakes. I sin against Him more than I would prefer to admit, but He always forgives me. He keeps no record of wrongs, and He doesn't react to me in anger, but in love. I am so thankful for that. No matter how bad I screw up, God loves me. He loves me with Agape love, true love. I only hope that I can take that love, and love others the same way.

What about you? What are your thoughts on these words? Thoughts about forgiveness or about being quick to anger and/or holding grudges? Are there any verses that you think of?

Mr. Monday: Love isn't

Last week for Mr. Monday I wrote about Mr. Amazing's amazing relationship with my mom. The above picture is one that he insisted on with (his words) "our whole family". :)

For Mr. Monday this week, I thought I would just continue on with my 1 Corinthians 13 study. It only seems fitting to include Mr. Monday in this study about love, as I love my Mr!!!

It does not dishonor others (rude), it is not self-seeking ~ 1 Corinthians 13:5a

These two aspects of love amaze me. No one would dishonor someone, unless they were being self-seeking. It's so easy to put yourself above others, and in the process hurt them or dishonor them. It takes serious mental effort for most people to realize why they think the way they do, and that by putting themselves first, they are more likely to hurt others. I would love to say that I don't dishonor others, as I would never do so on purpose, but I know that I do without trying, just by putting myself first. I try to put others first, especially Mr. Amazing, but I fail. I am rude to others when I don't stop to think about my actions, thus putting my own emotions ahead of the feelings of others...

My family is obviously the one that suffers from this the most. Mr. Amazing never puts me down or tells me that I'm being selfish. Why? Because he isn't being selfish. He loves me, and chooses not to dishonor me with words or actions. While I on the other hand, am sitting here writing a blog post about not being self-seeking instead of finishing something that he asked me to do this morning...

There are so many ways that we can be self-seeking and dishonor others without thinking. If you don't mind opening up a bit this week, what are some of the things that you do selfishly that effect your Mr.? (Please don't tell us about his faults, that wouldn't be too very loving!)

Ways that I am selfish:
-I do things at my own pace.
-I put the projects and chores that I want to get done above all the other ones in the house.
-I cook things that I want to eat, without asking Mr. Amazing what he would like.
-On family movie night, I pick movies that I would like to watch.

I'm sure there are many, many more, but those are just the ones off the top of my head. I don't ALWAYS do those things, but they aren't uncommon...

Your turn!

Boasting and Pride

1 Corinthians 13:4d- … it does not boast, it is not proud.

I think this is the exact opposite of being jealous. Instead of looking at others and thinking they are better than us, or that they have something we don't have, we look at others and think we are better than them. Boasting or bragging is just a way of showing pride. It’s saying look at me! Look at me! Look what I did, look what I can do, or look what I have. It’s seeking an earthly reward instead of waiting for a heavenly one…

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10
I love this verse! If you think about it bragging or boasting is just a way of seeking approval of men. We want everyone to see what we are doing and be proud of us, or complement us. Paul wrote a lot about boasting in 2 Corinthians (chapters 10-12), he talked about how foolish it was and how foolish it made us look. Then he went on to say let whomever boasts, boast in the Lord (10:17) and that he would only boast in his weaknesses (12:9). After thinking about boasting I want to pray the words written in Galatians: “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” (6:14)

Pride is spoken against many times in the Bible. There are so many Scriptures that talk about how much trouble it brings, boasting and bragging is just one way to show our pride. We can be prideful with our words, or even without ever speaking a word. We can be prideful by the way we look at others; it’s evident in our eyes. We can be prideful with our body language, with the way we respond to something someone says or does. We can even be prideful with our thoughts… We want people to recognize our good work without us telling them about it. We want them to acknowledge our hard work or what we did with our hair, and when they don’t we feel neglected or underappreciated, or possibly even unloved. That is solely our pride thinking, God says that He loves us no matter what. He also says that nothing we can do will earn us His love, or our salvation. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

One of the signs that marks the last days is people becoming proud and boastful. In 2 Timothy 3 we are warned to stay away from such people. Not only is being around boastful and proud people annoying, it can rub off on us. We can get sucked in and try to compete with them. They say “look what I can do!” and we respond with “oh yeah, that’s cool, but look at what I can do!” It turns into a vicious cycle. When this happens sometimes I realize it right away, other times it takes me awhile. But I have always found the best way to handle it is to complement them and then walk away. Temptation can always be overcome with God’s help!

Basically, boasting and pride is loving ourselves, not loving others, and not showing love in any form or fashion. Do you have any thoughts about boasting or pride that you could share with me? I'd love to hear from you!

Jealousy

1 Corinthians 13:4c- … and is not jealous …

Love is not Jealous… Am I truly loving God if I am jealous of others? Can I truly be loving others if I am jealous of them?

I don’t know about you, but I so often look at other peoples walk with God and become jealous of their relationship with Jesus. Does that ever happen to you? I see people with wonderful prayer lives, or extreme Bible knowledge, and I tend to compare myself to them… I don’t do it now as much as I use to, but I still find myself doing so on occasion. Another area that I struggle with jealousy in is with other women. Moms who have these amazing kids, or started teaching them really great things at a young age, moms who can take their kids anywhere and have them not only behave, but obey everything that mommy says without complaining or with a good attitude… Women who get to go on dates with their husbands… How I would love to have the time and money to have a night out with my husband. I honestly can’t even remember the last time we were able to go out by ourselves! God has really helped me in this area by showing me that I need to be happy for others instead of jealous of them.

God has been teaching me that jealousy is a lack of contentment, and in turn a failure to see what God is providing for me, which then leads to complaining… God has given me so much, when I truly love Him, I can see that He provides for all of my needs, both spiritual and physical in His time.

Love is Kind

Here's another addition to my 1 Corinthians 13 study:

1 Corinthians 13:4b- …love is kind...

Being kind is something that I often think that I have mastered, but I haven’t… Being kind is actually really complex. To be kind is to be friendly, generous, tender-hearted, sympathetic, compassionate, considerate, gentle, thoughtful, merciful, and helpful. I also found a Scripture that implies that kindness isn’t quarrelsome (2 Timothy 2:23-25). I might be all of those things some of the time, but most certainly not all the time. Kindness is also a fruit of the Sprit (Galatians 5:22) it can be conveyed by our words or our actions. However, kind words can be cancelled out by unkind actions and vice-versa… Proverbs 11 talks about kindness winning respect, but being unkind only brings trouble. Being kind can cheer someone up, and it can make you feel good too!

Proverbs 14:21 says: “He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.” This made me think of the story of the Good Samaratin.

There are so many ways to be kind or show kindness to others. In Acts 17:14 it is recorded that God shows kindness to us by sending the rain, thus providing us with food. Acts 24:4 suggests that an act of kindness can be as simple as hearing someone out, making time for them, and just listening and in Acts 28:2 the islanders show Paul kindness by being hospitable. There are so many examples of ways to be kind in the Scriptures! I was amazed while looking through some of them. We can be kind by listening, by being silent, by showing hospitality, by saying nice words, by forgiving someone (Eph. 4:32) or by being stern (Rom. 11:22).

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” -- Luke 6:35

I am looking forward to learning more about kindness. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and the verses that you came across! (Well, I can… but you know what I mean. I will be patiently awaiting your replies.)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -- Ephesians 4:32

God's way vs the worlds way

On this wonderful, Word-filled Wednesday, I have been contemplating on a few verses. For one of the crafts the kids and I did, the verse was John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. This verse is about peace, but I think it applies so much to God's love as well. God doesn't love the way that the world loves. He doesn't give His love and then take it back, but loves unconditionally. If we truly love others, we will love God's way and not the way of the world.

On a side note, have you all seen the new Bible gateway? I love it! I'm a creature of habit and wasn't looking forward to the change, but it's great!

The world says love is jealous, that if you love someone or something you have the right to hoard it to your self and attack anyone or anything that might try to get in on it. God says love is kind, not jealous, but something beautiful to share. The world says love is something to be proud of, something you declare and let everyone know what you love is yours. God says love isn't proud, but humble. He says love isn't something to envy or boast about, but something to cherish and enjoy.

The world says love is earned, that it is conditional, and only given to others when it benefits you. God says that love is a free, unconditional gift, that is given to others regardless of whether or not they deserve it, and it has little or nothing to do with us.

The world would tell you that love is easily angered. That if we trust someone with our heart that we have the right to get angry when they make even the smallest mistake. God says that love isn't easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs. He says that love forgives no matter what.

The world tells us that love has the right to talk down, gossip and exploit. God tells us that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

December 2nd

Before I start my post I wanted to thank Laura for hosting Thankful Thursday last month and Iris for hosting us this month. I am so thankful for you ladies!


It's December and I can't help but be thankful for Jesus' birth. Not just for His birth, but for the fact that my family celebrates His birth instead of everything else during this time of year. While others are out fighting in stores over who gets the last Tickle-Me Elmo (or whatever it is this year), we are celebrating the birth of our Savior, who says it is better to give than to receive. How wonderful it is to give to others. I am so thankful that we have the opportunity to witness to others with our attitudes this time of year. For the opportunity to share Christs love with others when we are out in all the holiday hustle and bustle.

I am thankful for the story of Christ's birth being recorded in the Bible. Having read it so many times, there is still always something new. Today I read in a book (Why the Nativity?) about how crowded Bethlehem would have been because of the census. I can't help but to think that the streets would have been crowded with people trying to get where they were going, pushing and shoving to make good time, much like the isles of our shopping centers are at this time of year. I am thankful for this new imagery that I have to relate to in my mind when I go into the crowded stores. Thinking about how the crowds filled the streets that night, no one offering Mary and Joseph a room, will help me to be mindful of my own attitude in the stores. I am not a crowd person by nature, I prefer less crowded places and easily get stressed out. But being able to imagine Mary and Joseph on that night so long ago, being pushed and shoved, and turned away might be the best thing ever. Instead of getting frustrated with others who shove me aside, or cut me off, I can in turn still allow the person next to me, who was also cut off, to go before me. Instead of giving what I got, I can focus on loving others. After all, Christ came while we were still sinners to die for our sins. Not just mine, but all of the shoppers. The ones cutting me off and the ones who are also being mistreated. How much joy will it bring to them to have someone show them love in the midst of the madness and selfishness? Only God knows, but I am thankful for the opportunity to possibly share His love with them. The opportunity to become the least, and let them go before me.



Join me in posting 25 Christ centered Christmas songs this month. The goal is to post a Christian Christmas song each day (no songs about Santa, Christmas trees or anything like that). Are you up for the challenge?

WFW

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." ~Proverbs 31:11-12

Coming into this holiday season I am thinking about how much my husband has to trust me to prepare everything while he is at work. Not just during the holidays, but always. He has to trust that he will have clean clothes to wear to work, that there will be food for him to eat when he get's home. He also has to trust that I am taking care of our children, feeding them, and teaching them the things they need to know. I'm not going to tell you that I have never let him down, as that would be a lie, but I am so thankful that he trusts me, even when I make mistakes. I want to be a wife who brings him good and not evil all the days of my life. I love my husband!!

*This picture was proudly taken by our 2 year old daughter.