Childhood Memories

What's your favorite childhood memory?

If you asked me, it would depend on your definition of childhood. When I was 6 and under it was spending time with my grandpa. All my memories with him are great ones. He would take us to the corner store and buy us ice cream and bubble gum. We would visit him at his meat locker and have coffee break with him (you know, 80% milk, 10% sugar, and 10% coffee). We would ride bikes around the town square - him on his adult tricycle and me with my training wheels side-by-side. He was an artist, so we would paint pictures together (or he would make me think I was helping anyways) and watch Bob Ross. He was constantly spouting off this one poem that annoyed me to no end at the time - but I would give anything to remember the words now.

Fast forward to my high school years, my favorite memory would actually be the summer before my junior year in high school. I had the best friend a girl could dream of, we did everything together. She lived 30 miles away, but I would pick her up for Sunday night church and youth group on Wednesdays and we spent a ton of time together. We went swimming in her pond, got my car stuck in the mud on a dirt road, and stayed up all night talking about everything - including my dislike of peas. We were like two peas in a pod - only I liked it.

So all of this reminiscing has made me wonder what my children will remember when they grow up. Will they remember grandparents that would travel any distance just to spend time with them? Family camping trips? The hikes that we use to go on in Colorado? Will their favorite memory be Wednesday night youth group? Reading books together before bed? Or the times when they are free from their parents as I have heard from so many others I've talked to?

I know that I can't control their favorite memories, but I can do my best to make sure that they grow up with good memories. I'm far from the perfect mother, but one of the things I love most about my family is that we know we love each other and God. And that reminds me of a YouTube video by Voddie Baucham called "Creating A Godly Legacy" apparently in the 3 years since I last watched it it has been removed from YouTube - sad - but I was able to pull up the outline in an online search. You can download it here. And then I found the DVD and went ahead and bought it too (I love tax return time).

Twins!

After another blogger recently posted about their twins, a friend of mine suggested that I do the same. So here is my Twin post, based off of the original posters format:


What was your twin pregnancy like?

To sum it up in two words: Long and Short. It was long because I suffer from terrible morning sickness each time I'm pregnant, and it started super early with the twins, lasted pretty much my entire pregnancy, and was even worse then it was with my singletons. Besides the morning sickness, there were the increased number of doctors visits. All twin pregnancies are considered high-risk, which meant my doctor had me coming in so often that I almost felt like I was there more than I was at work. And to top it all off, I started having consistent contractions at around 32 weeks, they increased in frequency and intensity until at 34 weeks I was having them every three minutes, which lasted two more weeks until I finally delivered at 36 weeks. 

How did you choose names for them?

We had originally picked out one boy name and one girl name when we found out I was pregnant. As it went for all of our kids, I chose the first name, and my husband chose the middle name. When we found out it was twin girls, we split in half and I named baby A (Ella Elizabeth) and he named baby B (Alexa Vivian).

Do they sleep together, or apart?

Together. When they were itty-bitty, they shared a bassinet, but eventually they grew out of that and while they each had their own crib, they shared a room. After they grew out of their cribs they shared a King size bed for about a year, and finally they now have a bunk bed. 

Did you feed them simultaneously?

Okay, don't judge me, but - I have never been successful at breastfeeding. I tried and tried and tried, and my kids could never latch on. For my first son they ended up giving me a breast shield that helped make it easier, but for the rest of the kids they wouldn't. With the twins I wasn't producing enough milk for them anyway, so I ended up pumping so I could measure the amount of milk they were getting so I would know how much formula I needed to supplement                 with. It wasn't easy, but it worked.

Do you dress them matching?

Despite the wonderful people who love buying them matching outfits, we rarely - if ever - dress them alike. They are two individual people, and we have always wanted them to develop their own personalities and tastes. 

How do you afford purchasing multiples items? 

By God's provision. We had lots of people give us their old baby stuff or purchase items for us. Thankfully we still had the high chair and crib from our singletons so that cut down on some of the bigger expenses. We also didn't have two of everything. We only had on baby bouncer, and really only of our girls liked it anyway. We did have two swings, but only one bassinet (as I said, they shared it when they were tiny). 

How did you tell them apart?

Generally this wasn't hard for us since they weren't identical, but for anyone who wasn't around them very often, Alexa was always identified as the one without any hair, as Ella was born with a head full of hair and Alexa didn't have anything more than peach fuzz for about 2 years.

Photos and a video of the twins:

Birthday Photos

Birth

1

2

3

4

Videos

Reading a book

On the slide

Training Children

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

~ Proverbs 22:6

Training children isn't exactly the easiest thing on the planet (can I get an 'Amen'?). But it's definitely one of the most amazing journeys that anyone could ever embark on. Today, instead of writing a big long parenting post, I wanted to ask you, what is your #1 tip for training children in the way they should go?

P.S. I'm the guest blogger over at "Get REAL inC." today. I'd love for you to hop over and check it out!

I'm linking up with Word-Filled Wednesday over at Internet Cafe Devotions. 

Check it out for more Word-Filled posts by visiting: http://internetcafedevotions.com/

An Imperfect Parent

I don't know about you, but I am far from perfect - especially when it comes to being a parent. That's why I like the words on the above photo. No matter how much I fail as a mother, God will still provide for my children. Their salvation isn't up to me. Yes, I have been called to be their mother and to teach them in the way they should go, but when I fail, God's grace covers me, and them.

I don't know if you're anything like me, but that's definitely a reminder that I need to hear more often.

I'm linking up with Word-Filled Wednesday over at Internet Cafe Devotions. 

Check it out for more Word-Filled posts by visiting: http://internetcafedevotions.com/

Teaching Hearts

“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.’”

~ Matthew 15:8-9

I read through the book of Matthew earlier this week, and God taught me so much! One of the things that I caught my attention was the above verses. Those are some pretty powerful and scary words! It really made me think about the way I teach my children. Am I teaching them to honor God with their lips and not their hearts? Am I teaching them to worship God in vain, simply obeying the rules of men? 

Whenever I start to reflect on my parenting, I always think back to my own mother. I had one of the most amazing moms in the world, but my childhood was far from perfect. Yes we went to church, but God wasn't the focus of my upbringing. Therefore, it's really hard for me to make sure that He is the center of my children's upbringing. I am an avid reader, but it's one thing to read about biblical parenting in a book, and another to actually experience it. 

I will never forget the little girl that was baptized last year. She had such an amazing understanding of the Gospel that it blew me away. Her mother is an amazing Christian woman, who I'm sure devotes her entire day to teaching her children and bringing them up in the ways of the Lord. I spent weeks wishing that I could be a fly on the wall in her house for just a day. I longed to learn how to be that mother - because I'm not. 

I'm amazingly thankful for a certain blog that reminds me that it's okay to fail. That being a perfect parent isn't required and that God is more powerful than our parenting failures. Just to remember that while I might fall insanely short of bringing my children up to fear the Lord, that God can still save them. Even the most wonderful parenting in the world can't save the souls of my children, only God can - and He can save them despite my parenting. 

Don't get me wrong, I still long to teach my children how wonderful my Savior is. I want them to know of His unfailing love, and to cultivate their hearts for Him. So much so that I contacted my pastor this week to see about getting a Titus 2 mentor. I had one last spring, but our schedules didn't mesh well, and it just didn't work out. 

While I long for my children to obey, I want them to do so because they want to - not because they have to. I want my children to know of our heavenly Father's love, but not just know what it is, but to actually experience it! I just seem to flounder when it comes to actually teaching them. Thankfully, I have God's Word, and God's grace, so no matter how many times I fail, no matter how horrible of a job I do, God is still God, and at the end of the day, He still loves me, and has the ability to save my children despite of me. 

I'm linking up with Word-Filled Wednesday over at Internet Cafe Devotions. 

Check it out for more Word-Filled posts by visiting: http://internetcafedevotions.com/

Fancy Shoes

Mr. Amazing had Friday off last week, and as always we planned to spend the day together running errands and just enjoying each others company. So as I always do on his days off, I spent a little bit more time getting ready in the morning. My choice for clothing was one of the outfits that he loves the most, a cute denim skirt and a neat top that I got off a clearance rack, and I completed the outfit with some really cute high-heeled sandals. I should note that these are some of the cutest shoes that I own, and this is the only outfit that they really go with. So, my husband loved it, it was modest yet stylish, and great for the shopping and stuff that we were planning to do.

And off we went. We ran most of our errands and then the girls asked if we could go to a play ground. Being the parents that we are, we of course said yes. We found a nearby park that had lots of equiptment. There were a few other moms their with their kiddos, but that just provides playmates for the girls so we weren't concerned. Ella needed to go potty. On the way to the bathroom, one of the other moms called over her shoulder to me "Mom's got cute shoes, but their not park shoes. You definitely can't play in the sand in those baby's." I was a bit speechless, but just smiled at her and kept walking - I did have a little girl in need of a potty after all. I tried to blow it off, but the comment just didn't sit right with me. On the way back over to the equipment, my dearest Ella took off running to her dad. I wasn't in a hurry, but was enjoying the warm weather and the break from my daughters over enthusiastic chatter when the same mom looked over and said, "Yeah, you can't even run in them." Then she turned to her own little boy and said loudly, "She can't even run after her daughter because she has fancy shoes on."

The comment hurt. Part of me wanted to say that I could if I wanted to. In fact, I had ran earlier that day just for fun as we were going into a store because my daughter wanted me to. I just didn't feel like it at the time. But I didn't. I just smiled and kept walking. I reached Mr. Amazing and our little girls, just as Alexa decided that she wanted to go over to where Ella and I had been (to the toddler portion of the equipment), so I went back with her. It was then that I noticed that every other mom that was there was in sweats. Not that that was a bad thing, but obviously there was a huge difference in the way that we looked. I started to wonder if that's what caused the comments from the lady in the pink sweats. I was the only one who had done anything other then throw my hair into a pony tail that morning. Of course I did this because my Mr. was home, but it obviously made me stick out. I was also the mom at the park that was accompanied by her husband. Being that it was a Friday, I'm certain that this was because all of their husbands have these glamorous 9-5 jobs and they work Monday - Friday each week and get the weekends off. That's not a luxury that we have in my home, but that's okay.

Anyway! The pink sweats lady's comments left me feeling uncomfortable, like I was less of a mom because I wasn't wearing park clothing. I almost felt the need to stand up and give a speech explaining to everyone there that we weren't really planning on going to the park that day, and that this was pretty much the closest thing that I would have to a date with my husband for a couple of months and that I dressed for him. But that would have been silly. I didn't need to justify myself to them. I was doing what God had called me to do. To be a wife, and to honor my husband. I'm not less of a mom because I took my daughter's to the park when I wasn't wearing park shoes. If anything, I'm more of a mom for not telling them no because I was wearing inappropriate shoes. But the real take-a-way that I believe God showed me through all of this, is that when we honor Him, when we live our lives for Christ, we should stick out. I don't know the spiritual state of any of the moms that were at the park, but the clothing choices left me with a great analogy. Just like I stuck out in my denim skirt and fancy shoes, so the believer should stick out when they are among a group of non-believers. Sticking out might make us uncomfortable at times, and people might make comments, but we have to lead the life that God has called us to live, especially when we stand out.

2 Timothy 4:2

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

~ 2 Timothy 4:2

I was writing down the above verse earlier, and just as I got to the last part about doing it all with great patience and careful instruction my daughter, who had been doing a lot of playing instead of finishing her supper, knocked over her glass of water. Well, I didn't have great patience, and it certainly wasn't careful instruction that I snapped at her... It's ironic how things like that work. I was writing the verse down because it was so powerful to me, and I really wanted to work at applying it to my life, but even before I finished penning it down, I had already abandoned the message. 

God's Word has so much to say about patience and gentleness, I'm pretty sure that that's because of the fact that sinful human nature is the exact opposite. But the Bible does lead me to believe that it is possible.  So today, I want to ask you: How do you keep your cool? How do you develop great patience and respond with careful instruction instead of with harsh reactions?

Earlier this week I mentioned that I got some new books in the mail, one being "Uprooting Anger" by Robert D. Jones. I'm hoping that that helps with both of those things, because patience seems to be the opposite of angry reactions... 

Any thoughts?

Are you thankful for your children?

Well, are you?

Of course most moms will answer yes without even thinking about it, but I want you to actually take a moment and really think about it. When was the last time you told them you were thankful for them? When was the last time that you thanked God for them?

At Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we learned a bit about thankfulness - and I am so thankful! Our fabulous leader posed the question "what does thankfulness look like in your prayers?" and I must admit, I came up lacking in one strong area. You see, I thank God for being God all of the time. I thank Him for my salvation and for my amazing husband... but to be honest, I don't spend a lot of time thanking him for my children.

I really am thankful for the 4 little blessings that God has bestowed upon me, just as I'm sure you really are thankful for yours. I just don't seem to express that thankfulness very often. Our Bible study leader suggested that this is because we are pickers. We tend to pick at people and their shortcomings, rather then spend time cultivating our attitude of gratitude - and she's right (well, at least about me). One of my dear friends and sister in Christ said that we should "pick a little, praise a lot", and I really liked that. Do you think that my anger issues that I spoke about earlier this week could stem from a lack of thankfulness? I do.

So today, my goal is to praise God for my children more than I work on improving them. Every time I catch them being bad, or need to teach them how to do something right, my goal is to also to take a moment to thank God for bringing them into my life and for continuing to shape them into the people that He plans for them to be. Will you join me?

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 

~ Colossians 4:2

Courageous

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

~Deuteronomy 31:6

We watched "Courageous" last week when it came out. I had been looking forward to it so much! We tried to see it in the theater, but by the time we were able to line up a sitter, it wasn't playing in any of the theaters that were within an hour of our house. I was totally bummed, but we got to watch "Happy Feet 2"... Wait... where was I going with all this? Oh that's right, "Courageous".

I ended up with mixed feelings about this highly emotional film. I guess that if I had to summarize it in one sentence I would have to say that it was about a group of men who decided to make a pledge to be good fathers. However, for me, there was just too much going on in the movie. Too many stories intertwined. I also noticed that the gospel wasn't mentioned... at all (please correct me if I'm wrong). You see, the goal behind the movie was great, but we can't leave our men expecting that they should be perfect; that they can fulfill all of Scripture out of their own good intentions. People fail. We just simply can't be perfect on our own, we have to look to God for our strength, and forgiveness when we fail.

I also don't feel like we should pledge to be perfect parents. First and foremost, we should strive to serve God in ALL aspects of our lives. One of the Scriptures or points that they touched on was that we are to teach our children to be godly, and we can't do that if we are not first and foremost seeking to please Him. We can't live a Christian life out of desire to be good parents. If we did, we would be living a lie.

Yes, we are called to be courageous in our Christian faith. But not just for the sake of our children. We are to love the lord our God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds. We should make the right choices and honor our morals, not to teach our kids right and wrong, but because it's what God wants from US. Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts about this movie. I would love to hear some of yours.

Sanctification Multiplication

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."

~2 Peter 3:18

As any mother of small children can testify: children never become perfect. We don't just suddenly wake up one day with perfect, well-mannered, sinless children. Instead, they simply progress from one area of imperfection to another. While our children may no longer be biting one another, they move into the stage of talking back. When they get past that stage, they start doing something else. They, like us, will never be perfect. 

I had an amazing book recommended to me a few weeks ago by a friend. It's called "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic, and while I was originally put off by how amazingly short it is, it holds some very powerful truths. This being one of them. Rachel relates our children's progression in growing up and moving from one sinful deed to another, to basic math. I just love the picture that paints. You can never know everything there is to know about mathematics. While when we are little we learn how to count and that 1+1=2, in our spiritual walk we have to first learn who Jesus is and what He has done before we can move into the spiritual trigonometry of living out our Christian walk. 

I guess that my favorite take away from all of this is that we have to teach our children to count today so that they will be able to face the later courses of algebra, geometry, and trigonometry with a leg to stand on. That doesn't mean that they won't struggle or fail (because we all do some of the time), it just means that they will have a foundation. A starting place, and a place to come back to when needed. 

Supernatural Peace

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4:4-7

After a long day with 4 kids that have far too much energy for a mom with a kink in her neck, these words aren't exactly easy to read. As I sit in front of the computer with my throat burning from screaming at them for multiple things, my gentleness is not evident. Not to all, and defiantly not to my children. 

With the temptation to feel like a failure building along with the pressing tears, the end of this passage brings hope. "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." That peace that surpasses all understanding truly is an amazing thing. It's the peace that takes over when I admit my failures, but claim the promises of Christ. It's the peace that washes over me, when I remember that God knew 2000 years ago that I wouldn't be able to be perfect. He knew that I would fall short of being the perfect mom, and He knew that I would need a Savior. Knowing that I'm forgiven brings me that peace. I hope it does the same for you.

While I know that I will not be the perfect parent, ever, I can trust that God will still bring me peace. He will guard my heart and my mind, and grow gentleness within me. Even if it doesn't happen over night, I can trust that it will come, and even when I fail, I can rejoice in the Lord.

What Are You Teaching?

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

~Psalm 34:11

This verse is one that I know well, but recently when I was reading it, God used it to convict me. He made me stop and think about the question this verse asks:

Am I teaching my children to fear the Lord, or am I teaching them how to be sinful human beings?

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that question? I honestly don't think that I have. I have thought about the answer off and on. How I fail to teach them, or how I think I have done well. But never just the question itself. 


Such a powerful question, has multiple answers. Yes, I read my kids the Bible. They love going to church. We pray before meals, and before bed each night. But teaching them about God, isn't the same as teaching them the fear of the Lord. Not even close. One is head knowledge, the other comes from the heart. What is my heart telling them? 


Defiantly a powerful thought to meditate on.

Self-image

This is a modified version of a devotion that I wrote for the website FindYourTrueBeauty.com:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

~Genesis 1:27

This is one of those verses that seems to just keep popping up everywhere I turn. And every time someone has referred to it, they have been referring to our self-esteem and the self-image we have of ourselves as humans. I guess that for me at least, it’s easiest to remember that God made mankind out of the dust of the ground then it is to remember that He created us in His image. 

I think as humans, we tend to beat ourselves up too much, and I’m sure Satan just has a hay day when we are too busy beating ourselves up to be of any use to Christ. Satan enjoys it when we look at ourselves and all we see is a pile of dirt, when we can't get past our failures, or what we see as imperfections. But that isn’t what God sees. God created us in HIS own image, that means that when God looks at us, He see's Himself. We were created in the image of God! How awesome is that?! So why is it that we can’t see past the materials used in creation to the final product? 

As a mom, one of the examples that I keep coming back to is a picture that one of my kids drew for me. My child was the creator of that picture. He can tell me exactly what he sees when he looks at it, and he can tell 100 other people the exact same thing. But none of us really sees what he sees. We might see colors and possibly some shapes, not the giant dragon with the pointy tail that is standing there looking back at us. Obviously God's a much more talented creator than my son was 2 years ago when he drew that picture, but I don't think the problem is the creator. I think that it is us that can't see past the materials used. When I looked at my sons picture, I saw crayon scribbles on white paper. When we look in the mirror, we have to look past the dust, past the physical medium, to the masterpiece that God created.

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You can get the actual devotion for free in your e-mail by signing up at http://www.teen-beauty-tips.com/free-teen-devotionals.html

The Perfect Parent

Hear, O heavens! Listen, O earth! For the LORD has spoken: “I reared children and brought them up, but they have rebelled against me.

~Isaiah 1:2

I don't know about you, but as a mom, I find so much hope in this verse. God is perfect in every way. Meaning that He is our perfect heavenly Father. Yet in this verse we see that even though He is the perfect parent, we (His children) still rebelled against Him. That gives me hope, because it just reassures me that the  salvation of my children doesn't rest on my shoulders. God gave us free will. If every child He created didn't turn out perfect, how on earth could I expect mine to???


What that means to me is that if I fail as a mom, it's not the end of the world. God was/is the perfect parent, yet His children still rebelled. Therefore, my parenting ability doesn't determine the eternal state of my children (thank you Lord!).  This is why Jesus came. He came because God knew we couldn't do it on our own. I mean, if I can't secure my own salvation, what is it in me that makes me think that I'm responsible for the salvation of my children? When I think about it that way, it just sounds silly. Yet so many times I beat myself up because I'm not the perfect mom. 


I'm very thankful that I don't have to be the perfect parent for my kids to have a perfect Savior. Sometimes I just need God to remind me how much I need Him, and how much He has done for me. It's good to know that I fall short. It's good to know that I'm not expected to be perfect. 

Ministry Month: Mom's In Touch

I cannot tell you how thankful I am for Mom's In Touch International (And for the mom who told me about it a few weeks back!).

The goal of Mom's In Touch is to have a group of mothers praying for every school around the world. Groups of women get together for 1 hour each week, just to pray for the schools that their children go to. There are groups for individual schools, community groups, and groups for homeschooler's. I am just extremely impressed by this ministry!

When praying with MITI(Mom's In Touch International-pronounced Mighty), moms follow the four steps of prayer: Praising God for who He is, Confessing our sins, Thanking God for what He has done (or is doing), and then Interceding for children, schools and MITI.

There isn't a group for the school that the boys go to yet, I am considering starting one if God brings me another mom to pray with. However, for the time being I am praying by myself. So, while it is a rule that what is prayed in a MITI prayer group stays in the prayer group, since I don't have a group yet, I did blog about my first prayer time, you can read that post here. Or if you would like to watch a short video that outlines the group prayer time, here is the one featured on their website:


If you have a child in public school, I cannot recommend this ministry enough! Even if you don't have a child in public school, our kids need all the prayer they can get!

We Cried Today

Today has not been a great day. I had it all planned out so that it would go smoothly, but nothing ever really goes as planned. I got up at 5 so that I would have time to shower and spend some time with God before the kids got up, except the girls both got up at 5:05. And they were cranky. They followed me around whining all morning. Then, when I was helping Alexa with something, Ella went upstairs and woke up her brothers. Who really didn't need to get up at 5:45 on their first day of school. By the time we left I was feeling defeated.

At the school, the heath teacher remembered the boys from when they were there two years ago. She was talking to them, and Ty informed her that he hated homeschooling. It was a smack in the face for me. He has always hated school. He hated public school and he hated homeschooling, I knew that. But just to have him say it aloud to someone who doesn't know the whole story hurt.

Kainen has the same teacher for first grade that Ty had. I'm not thrilled about that. She is super nice, but she doesn't believe in answering questions directly. She want's children to figure things out for themselves. So when the giant elf visited their class and the kids asked if it was real, she wouldn't tell them no. After school when Ty and I went in there because he had told me that she said it was indeed real, she still refused to tell him that it was just someone dressed as an elf. Of course, Ty idolized her and believed her over me.

Ty's new teacher seemed really nice. I liked her. I did find out that the boys will eat breakfast at school, so I don't need to feed them in the morning before we leave. This will let them sleep a little longer, but I will have to re-figure our morning routine and change the checklists that I made and laminated for them.

After meeting the teachers, the boys headed out to the playground, and Ella cried. She didn't understand why she wasn't allowed to stay with her brothers or why they couldn't come home with us. I never thought about how hard this would be for her. Alexa didn't care, but Ella cried, so I cried. We cried and walked back to the van together. Ella cried all the way home, I carried her into the house and she sat on the couch and cried for the next hour. It broke my heart.

After such a stressful morning, I would love nothing more than to take a nap, but with as tired as the girls are, they are refusing to sit still. I'm planning on giving them a bath and hoping that they will lay down after they are clean.

Pray for us. We need it.

Through the tears

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ~ Ecc. 3:1

I wrote a few days ago about surrendering. I realized that I was trying to live life on my own, and accomplish everything FOR God instead of THROUGH God. It has really been eye opening how stubborn and prideful I am, but God is working on me. One of the biggest things that God has laid on my heart has to do with homeschooling. I love homeschooling! With every fiber of my being it is something that I want to do. However, it doesn't work well in my family. There are multiple reasons, that I really don't feel like going over again right now. You'll just have to trust me on that. I have been fighting to continue teaching my children at home more than I have actually been teaching them. It's exhausting. God has really just laid it on my heart that I have to surrender my children to Him. I can't keep them to myself thinking that I'm the only possible hope they have for become Christ followers. God doesn't NEED me. He is more than capable of saving them even if they attend public school.

Do I think everyone should put their kids into public school? By NO means. I would prefer that the entire world homeschooled actually, and that includes my family. But that isn't practical, and it really isn't up to me. Each family has to do what God has planned for them.

I also want to mention that I am not advocating my parental responsibility to teach my children. The Bible does call us to teach our children, so I will still be working with them at home after school and some on Saturdays. We will still read the Bible together, pray, and do Bible studies. I'm just letting the public school take over their secular education (although I would rather not).

Today we went to the school to drop off their enrollment packets. I cried. The kids cheered at the thought of seeing their old friends, and I cried.

I knew when I first realized that I wasn't entirely surrendering my life to Christ that things would change, and not all of the changes would be easy, but I must admit this one is probably the hardest for me. I have to choose to trust that God knows what is best for our family, and trust Him with my children. God sent His Son into the sinful world, surely I can trust Him enough to send my children into the public school system.

On those tear drops, I will be unfollowing most of the blogs about homeschooling, and probably editing my Facebook friends as well. Not because I love you, your blogs or homeschooling any less, but because this is really painful for me, and I'm trying to cut back the salt in the wounds so to speak. I hope you will forgive me, I will understand if you unfollow me back.

Contentment

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:12

This Scripture has been on my heart for several days now. What stands out to me the most is that Paul didn't just instantly become content, he had to learn to be content. I think that God is teaching me this, and I must admit that it's not an easy lesson. While I do know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty, and I even know the secret of being content. The secret is thankfulness. The secret is choosing to be content, even if situations aren't ideal. It's choosing to be thankful for what you have, instead of wishing things were different.

What does that look like to me? It means:
...being thankful for our pets, even though I don't like caring for them. It's choosing to be thankful for my husband who loves animals, instead of upset about the hair on the rug, the poop in the litter box and the algae in the fish tank.
...being thankful that my children are creative when they make a big mess, instead of feeling putout by it.
...being thankful God made the seasons, even when I have to go out early in the morning and shovel the sidewalk and clean off the car.
...being thankful for my family when I have to clean up the living room, again. It means choosing to be thankful for hungry people when I have to cook dinner, wash the dishes, and go grocery shopping (my least favorite thing to do).
...being thankful for little legs that run and play when I have to mend another pair of pants with holes in the knees.
...being thankful for food to eat, instead of grumbling about the mess in the kitchen, or spilled milk on the floor.
...being thankful for the time with my children when homeschooling them, instead of upset with their poor attitudes about learning.
...being thankful for a house full of love, even when I can't remember the last time I had a full nights sleep, a moment to myself, or a shower without someone banging on the door.

This list could go on and on, but I think you get the point. What does learning to be content look like in your life?

9 years ago...

August is our busy birthday month. Mr. Amazing's birthday is on the 19th, followed by my mom's on August 22nd, and ending with my first born's birthday on the 23rd. I still remember that first night. At 3 am on Sunday, August 22nd, 2002 I went into labor. We were living the two story house where I grew up. My mom had rented the main level for years, when my husband and I moved back to town we had rented the top level. I loved being so close to my mom. So when the labor started, we went downstairs and woke her up. I couldn't imagine doing this without her. There was a couple hours of timing contractions, then we were off to the hospital.

At 8am my doctor came in to check my progress. I was at a 3 and still having contractions every other minute. She decided to go ahead and break my water to get things moving along. I did a lot of walking up and down the hall. My mom was right there with me every step of the way. While my husband was in the lobby watching baseball with his family, my mom was there. I don't even remember her leaving to get something to eat or drink. Not once. She was always there. Even my mother-in-law was there almost constantly.

They finally decided to give me some kind of medicine to increase the contractions. That's when it all went bad. I started un-dilating. But the medicine had worked. I now knew what it felt like to need to push. I couldn't stop myself. Everyone in the room was screaming at me not to push because it might hurt my precious baby. My mom was asking for something to undo what the last medicine did, but they were telling her there was nothing. My mother-in-law, the nurse, told them there most certainly was (she might have even told them what, but I don't remember). They finally got me something that stopped the need to push.

It was early in the morning now on the 23rd. The on-call doctor was explaining the C-section procedure to me. He was letting me know that everyone had to live within 20 minutes of the hospital so we should be getting started within the hour. All I needed to do was stay calm and hold on.

Over an hour and a half later they finally came and got me to take me back to the operation room. I remember my husband was back and my mom was gone. She had spent her entire birthday by my side, but it was over now. Now I was numb from the middle of my back down. I felt little movements in my tummy, but not enough to know what was going on. I wanted to know if I was having a little boy or a girl, they told me to be patient, that they would let me know when they got that far. It seemed to take forever. I was finally told that I had a little boy. My husband got to hold him before they took him away. I had to stay to get sewn up, and I wasn't allowed to hold him on the table.

Next was recovery. I was in there for quite some time. Finally, I was allowed to go back to my room and see my baby. I was able to hold him and kiss him. The nurses told me that he shouldn't stay in the room with me, and took him to the nursery so I could rest. I wasn't happy about this at all. They also started giving him bottles of water, and gave him a pacifier, all things that I was against, but no one checked with me. I remember the nurses coming into push on my belly to help it heal. I don't recall it doing anything but being agonizingly painful.

I'm so thankful that I no longer have to rely on the nursing staff. My boy turned 9 today, and I can hold him, and kiss him, and cuddle him whenever I want to (provided that I'm faster than he is or he is willing). I now have total control over what he eats and when he eats. He want's Pizza for his birthday. It's amazing the changes that have happened in the past 9 years. If I hadn't been along for the ride, I would doubt that it was even possible for him to be the 7 lb baby that came from that terrible time. The one thing that hasn't changed though, is my love for him.

Mr. Amazing Dad

I'm pretty sure that Mr. Amazing is the best dad in the whole wide world. What other dad do you know that would take his children hiking and carry a sleeping 3 year old?

Or stop to sit by a minute with his other daughter by a stream?

Or when he isn't carrying them or sitting with them, hold both of their hands?

Or pretend that he is scared when one of them jumps out from behind a tree with a roar?

Or teach his boys to jump across a stream of water?

Then help his daughter when she couldn't do it?

Then take the kids out for ice cream and hold the ice cream cone for his little girl?

And that was just one day! Mr. Amazing is an amazing father, and I love him very, very much!!!

What about your Mr.? I would love to hear about how he is a great dad!