I can't believe I'm going to say it, but I am thankful that Christmas is almost here. I LOVE this time of year. But today, I am just thankful that it's almost here. I love baking cookies, sending out cards, and just blessing others. I love hearing my boys talk about things they could give others, but for today I am saddened by the whole affair. I strive to keep Christ at the center of this holiday, but today I am feeling very selfish. I give to others because I enjoy it. I'm sure that is because of Christ living in me, but sometimes I feel selfish about giving what I want to give. I handed out a couple of my prettily packaged Christmas cookies to some homeless people yesterday, and they all but laughed in my face. They don't want cookies, they want cash. Not only do I not have cash to give them (we are a rather low income family), but if they were truly homeless I would think they would have enjoyed my cookies a little bit more. But the truth is that 50% of the homeless here in Denver are homeless by choice, 40% aren't really homeless at all, they just realize how much cash the homeless make in a day standing on a corner with a sign and decide it's an easy way to con people, and the other 10% really are homeless, because of circumstances beyond their control, and probably 5% of those have too much pride to hold up a sign asking for hand-outs. I am terribly sad that I can't do more for the homeless who really want and need help, but the others make me thankful that the holidays are almost over. Yes, they will still be there, but they are a little more grateful at other times of the year, because they aren't being so taken care of. One of the guys I saw yesterday had a whole stack of food that someone had bought him. He was blessed beyond measure, and all he said was 'Great. More food.' Then turned and walked away.
This holiday season is just showing me how much of a fallen world we live in (not just those around me, but I myself am sinfully flawed and quite ungrateful)and it makes me want to cry . So for today, I am thankful that Christmas is almost here. I'm thankful that life can go back to normal soon. I'm thankful that I will get to see my mom today. I'm thankful that my husband has next week off from work. I'm thankful that I get to meet one of my dearest friends in person for the first time next week (we have been friends online for 3 years!). And I am thankful that God loves me so much that sent His Son to die for my ungrateful heart.
To read more (hopefully more cheerful) thankful Thursday posts, please visit this months host, Iris, at her blog Grace Alone.
I'm also linking this up with MamaKat's writer's workshop in response to prompt #1: Write about a Christmas gift that was not well received, as my Christmas cookies were not. :(
I would love for you to join me by posting your favorite Christ centered Christmas song. My personal goal is to post a different Christ-centered Christmas song each day between now and Christmas. (The only rule is that it has to be Christ-centered. No songs about Santa, Christmas trees or whatever...)