Lately the subject of domestic skills has been lingering on my mind. It is more than evident that I am lacking in this area. It's apparent when I want to cook supper, but first I have to clean off the stove. It's apparent when I want to serve supper, but first I have to wash the dishes. It's apparent when I trip over toys or shoes trying to walk across my living room. And it's apparent at midnight when everyone else is sleeping and I'm downstairs doing the laundry so my husband has clean clothes to wear to work when he wakes up.
What am I good at? I'm great at making schedules. I am a good planner. I can schedule when chores need to be done to ensure a smoothly running home and still have time to play with the kids and get all the other stuff in that I want to do. My problem is with follow through. No matter how committed I am to sticking to a schedule and really being the domestic housewife that I want my husband to have, I lack the self-discipline. I find myself distracted in the pursuits of the moment. Thus, my home is like a city with broken down walls (Proverbs 25:28).
My biggest issue as God has been pressing this conviction deeper into my heart is that I know HOW to fix the problem. I know HOW to accomplish everything that needs to be done, and have a clean, presentable, FUNCTIONAL home. That isn't the issue. My issue is the follow through. I can plan and make commitments all I want, but they mean nothing. I have told my husband on numerous occasions that I am finally going to keep the house clean.. so many times that he no long believes me. His response has become, "You mean for the next week". That hurts, but it's true. My resolve has never lasted for more than a week. It doesn't matter what I do, I never follow through. I can make a schedule, set alarms for every hour so I switch to the next task, but I just don't! It's so frustrating that I want to scream!
I am so thankful that God has been convicting me of this, and I know that the answer lies with Him alone. I'm also grateful that He is helping me to see my faults, one at a time, and then not leaving me alone in my sin, but helping me to overcome. I know that self-control and self-discipline are things that I can't accomplish on my own. I need the help of my Savior, to save me from this habitual sin.
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. ~ Titus 2:11-14
Do you struggle with self-control? What has helped you become more self-disciplined?