Friday, May 13, 2011

A day in the neighborhood

I'm late linking up with the Friday Funnies today, but this was just too good not to share. As I was sitting in my room this afternoon, getting some work done on my computer, in strolls my cat. Not an abnormal thing, however, in her mouth was what she hoped to be her supper. I screamed and batted at my cat to get her to release the poor bird. Which of course she did. What was I thinking????

The newly released bird, that has a revived since of life, flies into my kitchen. My kitchen is not what I would call "bird friendly". All of my window sills are fully decorated, and even my windows have things hanging in them. So here I have this bird, flapping around my kitchen, banging into windows and knocking things over (thankfully nothing was broken).

I should tell you, that while we have several pets, I am not an animal person. My first thought was to call Mr. Amazing, whom I knew would have some sound advice for me. He was out getting something fun for the kids (shhh, it's a surprise), but was able to answer his phone. He said he wouldn't be home for another hour or so, but suggested that I threw a towel over the bird and carried it outside... Did I mention that my kitchen isn't bird friendly? I have bottles, paintings, and glasses on top of the cabinets, things in the window, and books scattered all over the table that I had been working with. Not to mention that I hadn't yet done the dishes today, so there were scattered dirty dishes. So the thought of trying to throw a towel over this feathered beast, didn't look to promising. After following it around the kitchen with a towel in hand for several minutes, I walked over to my neighbors home. She volunteers at the humane society so I figured she might be more qualified than I. But, she wasn't home.

So I called my mom! Moms are so wonderful! She suggested taking the screens off the kitchen windows. Brilliant, I tell you! Unless of course you have an un-bird friendly kitchen that has the screens bolted on. I kid you not. Being the handy woman that I am, I just thought that I would un-bolt the screens. Alas, the bolts were too big for a 6mm and too small for a 7mm, too big for the 1/4 and too small for the 9/32. Sigh. Plan failed.

Next my mom suggested that I close the blinds and try to urge it towards the living room where there is a door. Another brilliant idea! ...commence dive bombing... As I run out of the kitchen in a panic trying to escape the most likely disease infected bird, my sweet, dear, innocent children come into the house to see what the commotion is about. After gently asking them to remain outdoors until further notice, I got my husbands jacket (with a hood), a.k.a Bird protection gear, and headed back into battle. Okay, battle might be too strong of a word. I went back into the kitchen and helplessly looked at the bird that was flying into my windows and knocking over my belongings.

I was running out of ideas at this point, so I did what I'm sure any of you would do... I took a picture to share with you all:

That is my feathered friend. After thoughtfully documenting our friendship, I headed back outside to see if any of my neighbors were home, but of course they weren't. I filled the kids in on what was going on. They said that I should catch it and take it outside, so helpful aren't they?

When I came back in, one of my daughters followed me. She thought that the fact that we had a bird in the kitchen was the coolest thing ever! -insert mental picture of a 3 year old ecstatically excited about a bird- I tried to sneak up on the bird with a towel, but that just sent it into a flapping panic.

This was the moment that my neighbor came home. My boys told her that I REALLY needed her help, and came running inside to get me. I went out and explained what was going on, and she graciously agreed to come over to help me. With the warning that while she loved pet birds, outdoor birds were a totally different ball game. So here we are, standing in the kitchen staring at the bird. My three year old daughter is in the background saying "A Bird!" "It's right there!" "A Bird!" We referred to her as our comic relief.

At this point, the bird was behind the painting (pictured with it above), so we removed all of the bottles and then started brainstorming. If we took the picture down, we were sure that it would flap wildly around the kitchen. We didn't want that, but neither did we want it to remain where it was. My neighbor tried tapping on the picture to scare it... nothing.

After a few minutes it did come out, but it flew over to another cabinet top with my punch bowl and glasses. My neighbor suggested that it flew back over where it was and it kindly obliged. It went a little farther then we would have liked, right back behind the painting. So I geared back up in my bird protection gear, adding gloves this time, and prepared to remove the painting.

So here I am, kneeling on the counter top, wearing my husbands coat and gloves and trying to remove the painting without exposing my face to the bird. My first attempt led to the bird flying out and my panicking and leaving the painting where it was...and the bird went back behind it.

Attempt #2: I was able to remove the painting without disturbing the bird! WOO HOO! However, it just sat there, as if saying, "Oh yeah? What now?" My neighbor was the one that was brave enough to try to catch it with the towel. Of course the bird wouldn't have that, and flew right out of the kitchen. It was now flying into the living room window. I should mention that right outside of the kitchen is a door that was WIDE open, sunshine and fresh air pouring into the house. But no, my feathered friend went the other way. My neighbor chased it into the entryway and got it to go out the front door. She's my hero.

Please note that to the best of my knowledge, no birds were injured beyond repair in the making of this blog post. My feathered bird appeared quite healthy, and flew away to live happily ever after... unless of course the bald Eagle that picked a pigeon out of our back yard this morning gets a hold of it...

I hope you all enjoyed your Friday's, and that you didn't have any un-expected visitors.

For more Friday funnies visit our host Kim' blog:
Homesteader's Heart

1 comment:

  1. What an amazing UNIQUE funny! Sometimes birds fly down the chimney of my wood burning stove in summer so we know all about The Chase!

    Have a great weekend.