Through the tears

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ~ Ecc. 3:1

I wrote a few days ago about surrendering. I realized that I was trying to live life on my own, and accomplish everything FOR God instead of THROUGH God. It has really been eye opening how stubborn and prideful I am, but God is working on me. One of the biggest things that God has laid on my heart has to do with homeschooling. I love homeschooling! With every fiber of my being it is something that I want to do. However, it doesn't work well in my family. There are multiple reasons, that I really don't feel like going over again right now. You'll just have to trust me on that. I have been fighting to continue teaching my children at home more than I have actually been teaching them. It's exhausting. God has really just laid it on my heart that I have to surrender my children to Him. I can't keep them to myself thinking that I'm the only possible hope they have for become Christ followers. God doesn't NEED me. He is more than capable of saving them even if they attend public school.

Do I think everyone should put their kids into public school? By NO means. I would prefer that the entire world homeschooled actually, and that includes my family. But that isn't practical, and it really isn't up to me. Each family has to do what God has planned for them.

I also want to mention that I am not advocating my parental responsibility to teach my children. The Bible does call us to teach our children, so I will still be working with them at home after school and some on Saturdays. We will still read the Bible together, pray, and do Bible studies. I'm just letting the public school take over their secular education (although I would rather not).

Today we went to the school to drop off their enrollment packets. I cried. The kids cheered at the thought of seeing their old friends, and I cried.

I knew when I first realized that I wasn't entirely surrendering my life to Christ that things would change, and not all of the changes would be easy, but I must admit this one is probably the hardest for me. I have to choose to trust that God knows what is best for our family, and trust Him with my children. God sent His Son into the sinful world, surely I can trust Him enough to send my children into the public school system.

On those tear drops, I will be unfollowing most of the blogs about homeschooling, and probably editing my Facebook friends as well. Not because I love you, your blogs or homeschooling any less, but because this is really painful for me, and I'm trying to cut back the salt in the wounds so to speak. I hope you will forgive me, I will understand if you unfollow me back.

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