Thursday, November 3, 2011

Through the tears

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ~ Ecc. 3:1

I wrote a few days ago about surrendering. I realized that I was trying to live life on my own, and accomplish everything FOR God instead of THROUGH God. It has really been eye opening how stubborn and prideful I am, but God is working on me. One of the biggest things that God has laid on my heart has to do with homeschooling. I love homeschooling! With every fiber of my being it is something that I want to do. However, it doesn't work well in my family. There are multiple reasons, that I really don't feel like going over again right now. You'll just have to trust me on that. I have been fighting to continue teaching my children at home more than I have actually been teaching them. It's exhausting. God has really just laid it on my heart that I have to surrender my children to Him. I can't keep them to myself thinking that I'm the only possible hope they have for become Christ followers. God doesn't NEED me. He is more than capable of saving them even if they attend public school.

Do I think everyone should put their kids into public school? By NO means. I would prefer that the entire world homeschooled actually, and that includes my family. But that isn't practical, and it really isn't up to me. Each family has to do what God has planned for them.

I also want to mention that I am not advocating my parental responsibility to teach my children. The Bible does call us to teach our children, so I will still be working with them at home after school and some on Saturdays. We will still read the Bible together, pray, and do Bible studies. I'm just letting the public school take over their secular education (although I would rather not).

Today we went to the school to drop off their enrollment packets. I cried. The kids cheered at the thought of seeing their old friends, and I cried.

I knew when I first realized that I wasn't entirely surrendering my life to Christ that things would change, and not all of the changes would be easy, but I must admit this one is probably the hardest for me. I have to choose to trust that God knows what is best for our family, and trust Him with my children. God sent His Son into the sinful world, surely I can trust Him enough to send my children into the public school system.

On those tear drops, I will be unfollowing most of the blogs about homeschooling, and probably editing my Facebook friends as well. Not because I love you, your blogs or homeschooling any less, but because this is really painful for me, and I'm trying to cut back the salt in the wounds so to speak. I hope you will forgive me, I will understand if you unfollow me back.


  1. I had to make that decision with my oldest a few years ago - its SO HARD, but sometimes its the right thing. We later went back to homeschooling half days, and now he is back in public school full time. I love homeschooling and I plan to fully homeschool the younger two, but I totally understand that sometimes homeschooling just isn't whats best at the time. It doesn't mean you love your children any less, or that you have in any way failed - it just means that its time for something different. You have to do what is right for your kids at the time, and sometimes what is right changes.

  2. Surrendering is SUCH a difficult thing to do, even when we KNOW God's way is best. May He give you peace during this time of transition.

  3. Hi there...stopping over from Jennilee's just because party, but I was reading your post and just wanted to offer you some encouragement if you don't mind. I am a Christian mama with many homeschooling friends. My children have always attended public school. My oldest son is a senior in high school and my youngest is in middle school. One thing that has brought me a great deal of peace over the years of learning to "surrender" and trust that the Lord goes before my children where ever they are has been to join a Moms in Touch group and pray with other mothers for our children and schools. I have seen so many answers to prayer over the years. It has been such a blessing to lift those concerns to the Lord with other mothers, and watch the Him work...not only in our lives but in our schools. God is faithful to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine. You can learn more about joining or starting your own Moms in Touch Group by visiting:

    Praying that the Lord will continue to guide you and bring you peace on this journey.

    Kelly -

  4. Thank you all so much for your encouraging words!