Looking Forward

I know a lot of people use the end of the year to reflect on the past year, but I'm refusing to do that. Instead, I'm choosing to look forward. It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do during 2012. It doesn't matter what regrets I might have, or what successes I achieved. What matters is what's yet to come. Where will I go from here. Where will you go?

2013 is going to be a good year for me - a great year. Why? Because I'm trusting God to make it so. Of course I know there will be challenges and probably some heart ache - that's life. Jesus didn't promise us a life of ease, but told us that we would have trouble in this world (John 16:33). But He also says that He came so that we could have life - and have it to the full (John 10:10).

As I'm looking ahead to the coming year, I can't help but think of the things I want to do, and yet, this year I sense God telling me not my will, but His be done. I don't know where this year will take me, but as long as I keep my eyes on Christ, I know it will be worth it.

I do want to leave you with a few things that I'm looking forward to this year:
The launch of my newest book - "A Year of Book Marketing" is tomorrow and Mr. Monday is returning!

So for this first Mr. Monday post, I wanted to start a list of reason's that I'm thankful for my Mr. I invite you do join me as well if you want. You can link up at the bottom of this post. I'm planning on this being a series, where the last Monday of every month you can link up with new reasons you're thankful for your Mr. until we reach 100 :) Ready? Go.

10 Reasons I'm Thankful For Mr. Amazing:

1. He loves me - I know, it's a selfish reason, but he does and I'm thankful for that!
2. He doesn't smoke - We just moved to Texas, and I don't know why, but it seems like 90% of the guys here smoke! *Little known secret, when we first started dating, I smoked, Mr. Amazing never has. I quit when I got pregnant with the girls. I guess reason #3 would be that:
3. He loves me despite my imperfections (such as past habits mentioned above) - I know I already said I was thankful that he loves me, but loving me despite my imperfections really is different. His love doesn't try to change me, he loves me just the way I am. And I'm thankful for that.
4. He works hard to support our family - he really does. It isn't easy getting up every single day and leaving the house to slave away for people you don't care about. My first husband chose not to do so, and I'm thankful that Mr. Amazing isn't like that.
5. He's the perfect snuggle partner - I know, it's mushy, but it's true. My favorite time of day is snuggling with him in the morning, and I'm thankful for that time - with his old job he had to leave for work at 2 am and we didn't have that. So this is nice.
6. He's a great dad - he is. He helps the boys with their homework and teaches the girls new things all the time. He takes them for bike rides and blows bubbles so they can pop them. He's just all around awesome - I mean Amazing. ;)
7. He's thankful for me - I know, that sounds selfish too, but he is - and I love it. He isn't one of those guys that wonder's what his wife does all day. He knows I work hard and he's thankful for it. He's thankful for my love, and he's thankful for what I do with the kids. So I'm thankful for his thankfulness.
8. He's willing to help - Again, a little selfish. He helped me complete a work project this month that I was behind on, and he constantly offers to help with other things, or asks what he can do to help me out - not because he thinks I'm slacking, but because he knows it's not easy being me. He works hard all day, and is still willing to help out when he gets home. Go ahead, admit it, you're jealous.
9. He pushes me to be better myself - he might not think that I'm thankful for this, but I am. He knows I like to stay in my comfort zone and pushes me to expand my horizons - and when I'm doing so...
10. He encourages me - when I'm scared of doing something new, or feel like I'm failing at, well, everything, he encourages me and lets me know that he's there to support me and thinks I'm doing a fabulous job. :)

It's hard to stop at 10, but that's the first round. I can't wait to write more next month! What reasons are you thankful for your Mr.? List a few in the comments or write your own blog and link up below...

Mr. Amazing Monday

I've decided to take the week off from my Wife Words series. Why? Because I need to brag on my Mr. - He's amazing.

I have been working on quite a few books recently. "Book Marketing 101" came out last Friday, and Mr. Amazing has had a hand in pretty much all of them. Besides being amazingly supportive, he has also been my own personal picture maker. He edited my author photo for both black and white and color optimization. And he is illustrating the children's books that I'm writing. He's only just barely started the illustrations, but his work never ceases to amaze me. Here's an example:

This is the beginning stages of the girls for my books. He designed them to look like our daughters, and will adapt them for use in the books. Isn't he amazing?!

I am beyond thankful to have such a supportive husband. His willingness not only to stand behind what I do, but also to come along side of me to help me succeed is such a blessing.

My question to you this week is this: In what ways does your husband support/encourage you? It could be something simple like making supper to give you a night off, or letting you know that he appreciates you.

Mr. Monday ~ Regard

The "Wife Words" series continues here at Servant, Wife, Mother. So thankful for all of you who have joined me for this! This week's word is "Regard".

...and if he regards me with favor and thinks it the right thing to do, and if he is pleased with me...

~ Esther 8:5

Regard ~ To look upon and consider

Do you regard your husband? Do you consider his opinions and feelings before making choices, or scheduling your day? I have to admit that this is yet another area that I struggle in. There are so many things on my plate each day, that I often tend to get my priorities mixed up. You know, first I should be a servant of God, then a wife to Mr. Amazing, then a mother to my children, and then everything else - yeah, it gets a little backwards sometimes.

I love the above verse in Esther, because she is regarding Boaz by considering whether or not he will regard her. She cares about his feelings. She's not saying what she wants to do and charging ahead, she's waiting to hear from him. She's waiting to see if HE thinks it's the right thing to do. When was the last time you regarded your husband by waiting to see what he thought about something before moving ahead?

This week, I encourage you to be purposeful about regarding your Mr. 

Mr. Monday ~ Notice

...Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me...

~ Ruth 2:10

Notice: be aware of

source

The definition of the word notice is quite extensive. Much like the word "respect" that we looked at last week, it is multifaceted. It can mean the act of observing, or being aware of something or someone. To make comment about or mention something. To give attention to something or someone. Or, to grant something or someone respectful consideration or attention - Yes, that's the word respect that we looked at last week. It applies here too. 

Noticing our Mr.'s is a huge part of respecting them. We can notice their opinions, their likes and dislikes. We can notice their reactions, or even just their presence. But what I want to focus on today isn't what we notice about them, but HOW we notice them. Anyone who follows my blog knows how much I like walking down memory lane when it comes to Mr. Amazing, and the reason for that is because it changes the way I notice him. 

The verse that I used today was from the first time that Boaz noticed Ruth. Do you remember the first time that you noticed your husband? If I asked you what the first thing you noticed about him was, would you be able to tell me? I could describe everything about the first time I noticed Mr. Amazing. From what we were both wearing, to what we were doing, how I was feeling, and even the thought processes that were going on in my head, and the conversations surrounding it. Not everyone can do that, but most everyone can think back to the moment when the first noticed their significant other, even if it was years after they met, there's usually that one moment. Do you remember it?

Good, so now I want to ask you when the last time that you noticed your husband was? Not the last thing you remember about him, but the last time you remember noticing him.  Whether it was catching a whiff of his cologne or seeing him smile from across the room. When was the last time that you actually noticed him? Not so easy? You want to know a great way to make your Mr.'s day? Comment on the fact that you notice him. Let him know that you enjoy the smell of his cologne, let him know that you love his smile, let him know that the shirt he's wearing looks good on him. Let him know that you noticed that he cleaned out the litter box or did the laundry. Make a point of letting him know what you notice about him. 

My original point was that we use to notice our husbands differently then we do now. Now we notice that they left their socks on the floor... again. We use to notice the way their arms fit perfectly around us, or wonderful it felt to snuggle up against them. Do you still notice those things? Do you notice the way that your husbands eyes sparkle when he's happy, or the way that he makes you smile? 

Obviously noticing our husbands is deeper than just noticing the physical, but the more we notice about our husbands, the more of an impact they will have on our thoughts and decisions. Once we start noticing them the way we use to again, then we will have a foundation for noticing them in our decisions, actions, and goals. 

I know that I mentioned it last week, but the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge by Revive Our Hearts, played a huge roll in teaching me how to notice my husband again, and I highly recommend it. But for now, I leave you with the goal of noticing your husband this week. Take note of his daily routine. Take note of what makes him smile. Take note of the way his hand feels around yours. Take note of the things that you enjoy about him - and comment on a few of them to let him know that you notice him. 

Mr. Monday ~ Respect

Give everyone what you owe him: 

If you owe taxes, pay taxes; 

if revenue, then revenue; 

if respect, then respect; 

if honor, then honor.

~ Romans 13:7

Respect: To treat with special consideration and/or high regard.

source

I spent some time this past weekend looking into the quality of respect. We are instructed in Ephesians 5:33 that we, as wives, must respect our husbands. But that is probably one of the things that most wives struggle with the most. Even those of us who think we have mastered it, fall short. That was brought to my attention the other week when I was reading Elizabeth Georges book "A Woman After God's Own Heart", so that's where I wanted to start my new Mr. Monday series of looking at the various descriptions of wives in the Bible.

The very first thing that I was brought to when I was researching the word "respect" in reference to husbands and wives, was Queen Vashti. Do you remember her? The picture that the Bible paints of her is pretty small. In fact, she is only in a few short verses in the first chapter of the book of Esther. Do you know who she is now? She was King Xerxes' disrespectful wife. Her husband wanted her to do something, and she said no. Thankfully, we live in a very different culture now-a-days, because I must admit that I have told my husband no more than once.

King Xerxes' advisers were worried that if the King's own wife didn't respect him, that all of the women in the country would start disrespecting him as well. Can we apply that to our lives as well? If we disrespect our own husbands, how will others treat him? Have you ever been around a wife that disrespects her husband in public? All of her friends do the same thing - trust me, I've been there (on both sides of it). King Xerxes' had a right to be concerned. That doesn't mean that I agree with the actions that he took, God said that what He has brought together that no man should separate. When we get married, we don't have instantly perfect relationships. Our husbands are no more perfect then we are - and we are all far from perfect (Rom. 3:23).

Respect is a hard thing to learn. Especially when it's learning to respect someone who's life is laid open before you. We know our husbands better than anyone else on earth, that means that we see all of the faults that he has. We know all of his short comings. Yet, if we don't respect him, others will pick up on that. They will see that the person who knows him the best, doesn't think that he deserves respect, and they will follow our lead. But on the flip side, when we do respect our husbands, others will see that too and will be more likely to offer him that same respect.

Not only will others see it and implement it, our husbands will see it. Shaunti Feldhahn dedicated an entire chapter in her book, "For Women Only" about the impact that a wives respect has on her husband. The massive research that she put into that book showed that "Men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected." The best way that we can show our husbands that we love them, is by respecting them. To quote Shaunti Feldhahn one more time "If a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved."

So do you think that maybe we ought to put a little more effort into respecting our husbands?

As Elizabeth George would say: "Yes, but how?"

The answer to that is so massive that I couldn't possibly cover it here. But here are a few ways that we can respect our husbands:

• We can respect his decisions, opinions, knowledge and judgement. - To me that means not questioning his decisions and not always adding my own two cents worth when he has clearly already made a decision. That doesn't mean that I have to be silent and lose myself as a person, that would NOT make my husband happy. He didn't marry a doormat, and he didn't want to. But he also shouldn't have to listen to my "infinite wisdom" every time he wants to do something or tells me what is on his mind. 
• We can respect our husbands with our thoughts and words. - Respecting our husbands by choosing to assume the best from him instead of the worst. Choosing to only think and say positive things about him. Nancy Leigh DeMoss's 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge was a HUGE help to me in this area. Quite honestly, that challenge changed my entire marriage, just by changing the way that I thought.
• We can respect his abilities. - When the girls were little, Mr. Amazing would try to help me out by getting them dressed, and I often didn't like the clothing that he picked out for one reason or another (it was too cold for short-sleeves, or maybe I had already set out clothes for the day), so I would change them. After a while, he stopped dressing them. When I inquired as to why, he said that I would just re-do it anyway, so why should he bother... and you know what? He was right. The same thing goes for re-folding clothes after he did the laundry, or re-doing anything that he has done. That does not show respect for his abilities in any way shape or form, and it tears our husbands down more than we will ever realize. 

What are some ways that you can choose to respect your husband this week?

Just Stuff

It's been a busy month so far! After returning from our Spring Break vaca to Texas at the beginning of the month, my mom came to visit us last weekend and just left yesterday. I can hardly believe that it's already mid-April!

Besides all of that, a lot has been going on in regular life too. I'm fighting hard to stay afloat and trusting in the promise that with God all things are possible.

I got 4 new books in the mail this week:

A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
Write His Answer by Marlene Bagnull
Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Jones
and Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson

Yeah, I'm pretty excited about each of them, but have no clue when I will actually get a chance to read them...

I also got a new plant for my office (Mr. Amazing bought it for me... he's pretty awesome like that, he even picked out the coffee cup flower pot):

These flowers are so fragrant that you can smell them all the way in the living room! I love them!!!! 

Okay, besides the new stuff that I've gotten, a lot is going on with work too. I've picked up numerous new clients, and I'm loving it! "Teen Devotionals... for Girls! Vol. 2" is coming out this month. I've started working on a True Beauty book for young girls (more on that later). And I'm working on a couple of other projects as well. I get exhausted just writing about it all... 

But, enough about me! What have you been up to lately? I'd love to hear from you.

Did you know that Melyssa over at Daze of Us just published a book? I interviewed her on my other blog this week if you want to check it out... 

Mr. Monday: Remember When...

I honestly believe that one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to remember. Not the bad things that have happened, but what it was like when you were first dating. Do you remember back when you longed to be the one in his arms? When you would drop everything just to answer the phone when he called. Back when he had your undivided attention, even when he wasn't around?

After being married for 5 years, life happens, and our attention is stretched to it's limits. It seems like somewhere along the way the infatuation fades, and we become more self centered. Instead of feeling blissful every time our Mr.'s look our way, we get irritated when we have to abandon the project we are working on to go and do something for us. Why is that?

I love looking back to the way it use to be, not because it's not that way anymore, but because it helps me to be that way again. When I remember that having my husband is not a right that I have, but a privilege, it puts things in a different perspective. It helps me to remember that I still want to be the one in his arms. I still want to be the one that he calls everyday, the one that he smiles at and thinks of on and off throughout the day. And I still want him to be the same for me. Why? Because I still love him. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, and I don't even want to try. Mr. Amazing still amazes me each and every day.

Listen! My lover! 

   Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains,    bounding over the hills. 
   Look! There he stands behind our wall, 
gazing through the windows, 
   peering through the lattice. 
 My lover spoke and said to me, 
   “Arise, my darling, 
   my beautiful one, and come with me. 
 See! The winter is past; 
   the rains are over and gone. 
 Flowers appear on the earth; 
   the season of singing has come, 
the cooing of doves 
   is heard in our land. 
 The fig tree forms its early fruit; 
   the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. 
Arise, come, my darling; 
   my beautiful one, come with me.”

 My lover is like a gazelle or a young stag. 

~ Song of Songs  2:8-13

Mr. Monday: Spring Break!!!

When you read this Mr. Amazing, myself, our four children, and our dog will all be crammed into our minivan on our way to visit the best in-laws in the world. :D By the time we arrive at our cherished destination that is a good 12 hours away, we will be stiff, sore, and probably a little cranky - but I can't wait!

Even in 12 hour car rides can be stressful (and make me a little car sick) I love them. I love sitting beside my husband with nothing better to do than talk to him. To sit there with my hand in his and the open road before us is one of my favorite times in the world. You see, we live very busy lives, so even though we spend time together every day, it's not the same as the uninterrupted, nothing else to do time that we get on these trips. Last fall when we went to Iowa to see my family, we missed out on that. We were helping a friend move as well, so we took two vehicles. He drove his 4Runner and I drove the van. She took turns riding with each of us, and even drove the van a bit so that I could ride with him for a bit, but it wasn't the same. Even when I was with him we were focused on the fact that our kids were in the van in front of us, and talking about where we were going to stop or switch back, or just a million different things. It wasn't nearly as relaxed of a time as it is when we are traveling alone together. (Please don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that we were able to help our friend move and would do it again in a heart beat. I got to spend some great quality time with her that I hadn't for a while - I just missed the quality time with Mr. Amazing.)

So, pray for us! We should arrive in Texas shortly after supper time tonight... or maybe shortly after bedtime depending on the number of stops that we make.

Ooo! One of our traditional stops is Dorthy's house in Kansas :) We always take pictures of our little munchkins in the land of Oz! Check them out (they are so cute!):

2009

2008

Oh my! Can you believe that we haven't been there since 2009?! Craziness I tell you! Going to Texas use to be an annual thing... I'm thinking that we might have went in 2010, but I forgot my camera... Not sure though. I know we didn't make it last year. :(

Goals

But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands. 

~Isaiah 32:8

I am not much of a goal setter, mainly because of verses like Galatians 3:3. I know that I can't reach any goals without God's help, and usually I am a firm believer that God will do His work regardless of my plans, therefore... I don't usually plan. 

However, God has really laid it on my heart recently to make some goals. I know that He wants things to be orderly, and achieving His goals would be much easier if I would make a game plan. But even with goal setting and my game plan in place, it's important to remember verses like Proverbs 16:9 and 19:21. Yes, I have plans that I want to complete to reach my goals... but not if it means going against God's Word.

So, I have set some goals. And I have made a game plan in hopes of reaching them.

My spiritual goals include 

• being more thankful for my children (more on that in a later blog)
• living in light of the Gospel
• making time for quiet time each and everyday - having it be a priority that I long for, not a chore to merely cross off my to-do list.

Then I have some life goals. Starting with my writing goals that you can read about here. I still need to establish goals for homemaking, but God has really impressed on me that my spiritual goals must come first, and that helping my husband by fulfilling the writing goals is the next step. 

That almost sounds wrong when I type it out, but God has given me peace that that is the right order. I'm not sure why, other than the fact that with changing the way our life is lived by having Paul home more, it will also change the way I proceed in homemaking, and my spiritual goals will also change the way that I view homemaking. So, I'm confident that God knows what He's doing, I just need to listen to Him and follow along ;)

For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is. 

~ Colossians 2:5

Mr. Monday

Well, the guest posting series by Sandy Ralya has come to a close. I do hope that you enjoyed it. As much as I enjoyed having a little extra time each week saved by having the posts written for me, I truly have missed writing Mr. Monday posts. There's just something about writing about my Mr. that makes me happy! :)

I'm so excited that our vacation is only a week away. I actually feel like I will be ready for it when it gets here. I'm almost caught up on everything that needs to be done before we leave, and the thought of spending a week and a half of uninterrupted time with my Mr. brings me great joy! But, I have been having a great time with him here at home too.

A lot has happened here recently. Mr. Amazing's work schedule has changed and we are able to go to church as a family once again! Praise the Lord! That being said, we have been doing a lot of praying and planning (more on the planning in a later post) about our work future. We have been working together on a freelance project. I am formatting a book and he is designing the cover. This is what we love. It's so great to work together. We have done this once before (only I was editing the book and he was doing the cover), and we really enjoy working together. So, we're going to pursue that more in the hopes that we will eventually be able to both work from home, side by side and hand in hand.

You see, I'm not one of those wives that tire of their husbands presence. When he was laid off last year, I enjoyed every single second of him being home, and I know that I would enjoy having him work from home as well.

What about you? Do you enjoy doing things with your husband as well as for him?

Mr. Monday: Date Night!

My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.

~Song of Songs 5:10

We finally got to go out to celebrate my birthday last weekend. We almost had to cancel due to a huge winter storm, but Mr. Amazing pulled it off. He had arranged a sitter for his day off (Friday) early on in the week. However, our sitter is terrified of driving in the snow, so he ended up having to go and pick her up. The roads were horrible, and he lost control at one point, slamming into the median. The car is a little banged up, and he had a headache, but he wasn't going to let that ruin our day (I would have. I completely freaked out when he told me).

He brought me a dozen roses, and then took me to P.F. Chang's (who has the best Chinese food EVER). Then we went and walked around the mall to pass time while we waited for our movie to start. It was simply wonderful having time with just the two of us. We don't get to do that very often, and I was thankful for every moment of it. My only regret is that it had to come to an end. **sigh**

The Gospel for the Imperfect Wife

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

~Proverbs 31:11

One of my all time favorite blogs is Christ in the Chaos. I love how she words her posts to always include the gospel. I'm bringing this up because her blog inspired this post. Anyway, on to the Mr. Monday portion of this blog post!

When I read the above verse today, it really just... well it hurt. I fail my husband in so many ways. He has full confidence in me, but only because love is blind and he's amazing like that. However, he lacks a lot. 

I am far from the perfect wife. Housekeeping isn't exactly my strong suit. The dishes aren't always done, neither is the laundry. The floors all need to be vacuumed and I don't have meals planned out for the entire month (or even the day). He needed his hair cut, and I didn't have the time so he had to go to a salon. Things just add up, and when I read the verses in Proverbs 31, it can be tempting to feel like a failure. But that's not what Christ wants.

You see, Christ came to earth because He knew that we wouldn't be able to be the perfect wives. He knew that we were in capable of making it on our own. He came to save us from having to be perfect. Yes, it's good to read Proverbs 31 and have that as a backdrop for the perfect wife, but we have to remember, I have to remember, that God knew that I wouldn't BE that wife. He knew that I would fail, and that my kids would wash the dishes, do some laundry, and my husband would order pizza on days like today when I fell asleep with one of the kids. 

I will never be perfect, and neither will you. Our husbands know it, God knows it, why can't we accept it? Today, I am choosing to bathe in the grace of God. I will not feel defeated when looking at the dirty carpet and mound of laundry waiting to be put away. I choose to feel the peace that God promised us through the blood of Christ. I choose to accept that imperfections and shortcomings aren't the end of the world. I might be an imperfect wife. I might fall short of the Proverbs 31 woman, but I have a mighty Savior and an Amazing husband, and I won't let the things of this world get me down!

P.S. It's my birthday, and I know he has plans... I just have yet to figure them out! More on that next week :)

Mr. Monday: A Rose by any other name...

"I am a rose of Sharon, 

   a lily of the valleys."

   

"Like a lily among thorns 

   is my darling among the maidens."

~ Song of Songs 2:1-2

Mr. Amazing brought me a rose last weekend. It was his day off and he took the twins on a milk run while I made breakfast. After a little while the door bell rang. I went to answer it and found one of the sweetest little four year olds in the world standing there holding a beautiful long-stemmed rose. She said "Flower for you, Mommy." It was pretty much the cutest thing ever. She gave me the rose and a kiss, then went into the house. She was followed up the stairs by the other sweetest little four year old who proclaimed: "Mommy! That's you flower!" and then gave me another kiss. It was great. Mr. Amazing followed behind them laden down with groceries. He really is amazing :)

I use to not like getting flowers. I was one of those women that saw them as temporary treasures that eventually died, and when you give them as a picture of love, that isn't very encouraging. However, I love the above verses that Solomon wrote. The maiden says: "I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys." and her husband responds "Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens." Now that's a great picture of love represented by a rose. 

I encourage you, the next time your Mr. buys you flowers, think about these verses. Remember that he is doing it because to him, you are more precious then anyone else in the world. Like a lily (or rose) among thorns. 

Mr. Monday:

This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.

~1 Peter 3:5

Mr. Amazing hates this verse. He is a strong believer that men and women were created equal, and that saying that as wives we should accept their authority speaks to the contrary. I lovingly disagree with that sentiment.

You see, as a Christian woman, I look at it as a picture of our relationship with Christ. When I am trying to rule over my husband, I am not being submissive to Christ. It isn't about being greater than or less than. Christ said whoever is the least now will be the greatest then (Mark 10:31). I know that God created us all in His image. That we are all equal, we are just created differently, with different roles. For me, living under the authority of my husband isn't about feeling like a lesser person than him. It's about submitting to a righteous God, who is the Greatest. 

I won't say that I am the perfect wife at living under my husbands authority. I am still a sinful human, and there are definitely things that I am stubborn about. But that's the best part. God knew that we would do that. It was included in the curse. But that's why Jesus came. He knew that we wouldn't be the perfect wives. He knew that we would need a Savior. I am so thankful for Him!  






~Special announcement:
For today only, you can download a free Kindle copy of my book, "Teen Devotionals... For Girls!" at Amazon.com. Check it out here.

Changing vs. Squelching...

It's Mr. Monday again here at Servant, Wife, Mother, and one of the things that has been heavy on my heart this week is the topic of changing vs. squelching. Very few people remain the same forever. We grow, we change, we mature and develop. We learn to like different things. I would hazard a guess that less than half of you like the same things today as you did when you graduated high school. The same goes for our Mr.'s. However, somethings don't change, instead they get trampled.

This was brought home hard one day this week when Mr. Amazing came home from work late. He had to be at work early the next morning and doesn't normally eat supper on nights like that. However he was hungry. One little thing you need to know about my Mr. is that he LOVE's simple food. He would be in heaven if I served hot dogs for lunch and hamburger helper for supper every single day. So, I tossed some hot dogs in the microwave and called it good. Now, I mentioned that he loves hot dogs, however, he gently reminded me that he doesn't love his hot dogs microwaved. :( He prefers them boiled then seared on the stove top. I knew this. I really did. However, the kids prefer the quickness that comes from the microwave. When I boil them for the children, I get groans and they stand in the kitchen longingly staring at the stove.

The whole situation made me start to wonder how many other things have been being squelched. I remembered when we were dating all of his dishes were Coca-Cola themed. If you look in our cabinets now, you will only find a handful of those dishes. The rest have been broken and replaced with more durable, plastic, dinnerware. Does he still like Coca-Cola themed plates? I'm sure he does.

I know that he also still loves his old '82 Supra that is parked in our driveway but never driven. That car was his heart and soul for as long as I can remember. He LOVES it. In fact, I think he use to love it more than me, but he's grown past that un-healthy car love. Since the time that he replaced it with a bigger vehicle (with more seats), it has had a tree fall on it, and one of our daughters has rubbed some of the now oxidized paint off of it. He doesn't complain, but I know that it is something he cares about.

So for Mr. Monday this week, I would love to hear about some of the things that have changed in your husband since you started dating or got married. Is there anything that hasn't changed but has been squelched by kids, marriage, or life? How can we stop squelching, and start nurturing?

Thoughts anyone?

Mr. Monday

Welcome back to Mr. Monday! I love Monday's. It's so fun to brag on my Mr.!!! You know, 'cause he's so great! For those of you who don't know, every 1st and 3rd Monday is Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis. I highly encourage you to check it out. This week's topic is Mother-in-laws, which was actually covered there last spring as well. You can read my In-law's post here.

The question asked was how to deal with difficult in-laws. While I have never had to deal with that personally, my sister's first marriage was ruined by her overbearing mother-in-law, so I know what kind of an effect they can have on your marriage. I am a firm believer that in a Christian marriage the husband should leave his mother and father to be joined together with his wife. If your husband isn't willing to leave his mother to support you, your marriage won't work. That was the case with my sister's marriage. Her husband put his mother first, and her second. She couldn't take that, and to be quite frank, I don't know if I would be able to either. You can't become one with your spouse, if you are constantly being shoved to the side to cater to his mom. Regardless of where your husband stands, when we get married, we are agreeing to be our husbands helpers. Which means that we need to help him in whatever he desires (as long as it is in line with God's word). I think I mentioned this a few weeks ago. If our husbands goal is to help his mother, ours should be too. While our in-laws don't always make this easier, it is our duty as wives. We have to ask God for guidance, grace and peace. In the end, I think when we have difficult in-laws, it's important to remember Matthew 19:36. It might be impossible to love them and get along with them on our own, but with God all things are possible.

Even if you don't link up for Marriage Monday, I encourage you to check out e-mom's list of reasons why writing about marriage changes things. It's great!! (well, minus #4, I'm kind of anti-venting, Eph. 4:29)



After reading through e-mom's list, I was just reminded why I started Mr. Monday's in the first place. I started doing Mr. Monday because I LOVE Mr. Amazing, and Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis is only twice a month. It just wasn't enough! And, while every 1st and 3rd Monday is Marriage Monday, it isn't always writing about your Mr. and, I like writing about my Mr. :D

So each Monday I began posting something about Mr. Amazing. (I am contemplating having him make a button for me... but at this point there isn't one.) It has just been wonderful! It's so fantastic just to spend time each week writing down how amazing my husband is. Even on day's when we don't get along, he is still fantastic, and it's good to remember that. It helps me to meditate on what Scripture has to say about being a godly wife, and also a great reminder that no one is perfect, and God's grace covers all imperfections. The bottom line? I love Mr. Mondays! :D

If you would like to join me, all you have to do is start referring to your husband a Mr. ______. The point is that if you call him that, then you will start seeing him that way (and I have totally found this to be true!). I have started calling my husband Mr. Amazing (and he is sooo amazing!), so will you join me in referring to your husband as Mr.______(good name)?

Mr. Monday!

So, I have been slacking on my Mr. Monday posts. Not because I love Mr. Amazing any less, but for some reasons finding time to turn the computer on on Monday's is becoming difficult for me. I should start pre-writing them... Yeah, that would be good. But for now, I thought I would just go ahead and write this week's post.

I have been thinking all day about how much I am amazed by Mr. Amazing (hints the name). He worked the closing shift last night, didn't get to bed until after 11, then got up at 5am to go back to work. Why would anyone do that? Why would they drag themselves out of bed when they are dog tired? The answer is simple. Love.

He doesn't do it because he loves his job. He doesn't do it because he loves money. He does it because he loves our family and wants to provide for us. That amazes me. It amazes me how much he sacrifices for us. It amazes me that day after day, week after week, year after year, he gets up and goes to work, no matter what. He goes when he is sick (unless he can't stand up or something), he goes when he is tired, he goes when I forget to make him something to eat, he goes when I forget to wash his clothes. He just goes. He gets up and puts forth the effort to take care of our family, no matter how much his family fails him.

The Proverbs 31 woman has come up several times in the past few days. What I'm realizing is that I am ever so thankful for God's grace, because I fall so short of that. I am far from the perfect wife, yet there my husband is. Standing strong, loving me despite my faults.

Sometimes it's easy to focus on ourselves, on all of our needs that aren't being met. But if you ever take a step back and look at things from the other point of view, it gives you an amazing since of gratitude. Instead of looking at all of the things you have to put up with, think about all of the things that you make your husband put up with. If your anything like me, I bet you will want to give him a great big hug and tell him how truly amazing you think he is.

Bad blogger me

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a bad blogger. I haven't blogged consistently for months. Here's my excuse: I'm a stay at home, work at home, homeschooling mom, housewife, AND there are still two guys living in my basement. Yes, you remember, the two that asked to stay for a couple of nights back in JULY. Yeah, them. We have asked them to leave several times, but they still haven't found a place to live. This is killing our electric bill, toilet paper expenses, and homeschooling (as they are sleeping in our school room). :( Me no likey! I do like them, they are great guys and I can't wait to get the one guys little boy back into my arms. But I'm ready to have my house back. I use to have a good day laid out. I would get up, spend my quiet time with God, go to the basement to start laundry and work out, then shower and get the kids up. I can't workout upstairs, because you can't jump upstairs. It shakes things. It would also wake up everyone in the house. I do not feel that I should be going down to do laundry while two men, neither of which is my husband are asleep... It's just not right.

Mr. Amazing is being transferred to a new store...again. At this store it sounds like he will have more of a chance to promote, but he's not getting his hopes up. I'm still trying to convince him to move to Texas so I can be neighbors with his mom. :D Okay, that's not the ONLY reason that we are talking about moving to Texas, and it is both of us, not just me. We're prayerfully considering it together, and waiting on God to direct us.

Oh, let's see... Homeschooling. It's not going the way I want it to. The kids (and I) are learning tons, but it's stressful and un-organized. I think I could organize it better, but I want to be back in our school room, and hopefully will be soon, so organizing it has to wait until then, or I will waste a ton of time organizing it twice!

Work is going pretty good. I really enjoy it, I just wish I had more time to get things done. I also have a ton of devotions floating around in my head, but can't find the time to write them down either... I have to prioritize... I have one book on my list to edit. Well, technically 2, but I haven't been sent the 2nd one yet.

Our family has had severe colds for the past week. Alexa and I came down with them on Wednesday, Followed by Kainen and Mr. Amazing on Thursday night, and then Ella Friday. Today Ty's nose has started to run. :( I took the kids to the doctor on Friday, Kainen just has a cold, Alexa has a double ear infection, and Ella has fluid behind one ear. :( I'm feeling tons better than I was on Thursday when Ella cut a chunk of her hair off (although I'm still not 100%).

Today, I cut the kids hair. Ella's hair is really short. I'm not as skilled at cutting hair with scissors as I am with clippers. I mean let's face it, it's a ton easier to buzz hair than it is to cut straight lines on a child that won't sit still... But, I think it turned out pretty good:

I almost cried when I cut it. I loved her hair. :( But, God is teaching me that I can't put her glory in her hair, anymore than I can mine. Hair is part of our external appearance and has nothing to do with our eternal salvation (which I really already knew, but obviously I valued it too much).

Anyway, I'm sure that there is more, but the kids don't think they can leave me alone long enough to write an entire sentence, so I'm just gonna go ahead and post this. Sigh.

I need your help!

My son loves telling people that I am an editor, and that always springs on tons of questions. So I thought it was time to have some business cars. Thankfully, Mr. Amazing is a graphic designer, and he was more than happy to make up some rough drafts for me to look at last night. The problem I am having is that they are all so good, I could never choose!!!

Can you help me? Which one do you like best? I asked some friends and got votes for all of them!

Oh, and I created a facebook page for my writing and editing. This blog isn't linked to it, but if you want to check it out, your more than welcome to!

21 days of romance

Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. ~ Song of Solomon 2:5

It's Mr. Monday again! Well, technically it's almost over. I have been super busy, but thinking about my wonderful Mr. Amazing all day! Partly because he was home from work after getting a nasty chemical burn on his foot yesterday :( and partly because it's Mr. Monday and I was trying to figure out what wonderful things I could share! One of the ladies at my church unknowingly helped me out with that when she posted her blog post today. She is doing 21 days of romancing her husband! What a great idea! I'm going to join with her, and I hope you will too. (You can read her post here)

Would you care to join us on this journey of romancing our husbands? I'd love for you to let me know and share some ideas for ways to romance our Mr.'s! I use to be really good at this, but I know I have been slacking lately :( I did drop a love note into his lunch for tomorrow though :D